This book was...a lot.

For some reason, I really don't want to review it at all. I thought I was going to do a mini-review, so I didn't take notes or write down quotes for this or anything. But now, seeing that my Goodreads friends' average rating of this book is 4.15, I feel I need to elaborate.

So bear with me.

The #1 thing that prevented me from giving this book a higher rating? It's an absolute love letter to the (oft-mentioned in my negative reviews) you're not like other girls trope. I mean, the opening line of the very synopsis is "If Skylar Evans were a typical Creek View girl, her future would involve a double-wide trailer, a baby on her hip, and the graveyard shift at Taco Bell." And I swear it feels like that one sentence encapsulates 99% of the book. Skylar is constantly comparing herself to this extremely specific definition of what a girl from her hometown is, and it's so alarming. It's never corrected. Skylar's best friend fits this stereotype, and when said BFF finally confronts her for discussing the inferiority of a group in which her loved ones fit, Skylar's reaction is SO lacking. She apologizes, but just for not letting her pal know that she's better than other girls, too. It's the worst. This is not an okay belief. You're not better than anyone else for living up to your sweeping generalizations of what people should do.

Somewhat similarly, there are some real traces of slut shaming in this book.

Spoiler

At one point, loverboy Josh freaks out and leaves our heroine (bleh) when they're about to get it on - and, gasp! She's a virgin, as they mention a million f*cking times! So this social construct for which only women are held accountable is a Big Goddamn Deal, apparently! Anyway, he leaves and gets a blowjob from some girl. Nasty, right? Nasty on Josh's part, and not the innocent girl? Like, irredeemably skeezy? You'd think so - but you'd be wrong. Apparently, as lovingly explained by Josh's brother, this is a forgivable act by Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy since the rando girl is a "slut."

God, I hate it so much. What a double standard. Josh, who according to Skylar has slept with "three-quarters" of the girls in town, is never on the receiving end of bullsh*t like this.

I picked this thing up because Heartless left me in a slump, and I thought this would be a bit of fluff to pull me through. Nope. This book was exhausting. That's because absolutely every second is cheesy/overwrought/dramatic/tense/some combination of the four. Not so much as a trip to McDonald's or a chess game can pass without Skylar glooming over her feelings and life or Josh getting super profound out of nowhere or either of the two throwing a tantrum. Being stuck in Skylar's head for the whole thing was WAY too much. I'm not saying drama doesn't have a place in contemporaries, because it totally does...but not like this. I think it was This Adventure Ends that discusses the danger of responding to someone else's tragedy by discussing your own, and that's what this entire book felt like. Skylar's problems at home and Josh's PTSD could have been really meaningful and impactful, but instead they were plot devices, a cheap appeal for a high rating.

There's also just this really off-putting subplot during which Josh says homophobic slurs a bunch of times. One time, he directs one toward Skylar's best friend (not the victim of a stereotype best friend, a different one). He abruptly stops using them, I think, once Skylar halfheartedly hits him with the equivalent of "not cool" later. It was just...weird. I didn't get what the message was. Josh also responds "don't go all PC on me," which is the worst. I never knew a stance against political correctness could be an aspect of a YA book, but here we are. At least it fits well into current events. (Buh dum ch!)

And the characters did not do it for me. Skylar is über dramatic. True, she's got a tough go of things, but she never chills out. And this book is in the first person, so that sh*t is GRATING. Beyond that, I'd say her main trait is that she wears Converse. (An absolutely classic component of the typical not-like-other-girls pixie quirky dreamboat.) I think she's supposed to be funny, but the only reason I know that is because the other characters react that way. And I HATE the name Skylar. If there's a Skylar reading this, I'm sorry. If you want my advice, go by Sky. Or your middle name.

Josh...is harder to cast blame on. I think the post-traumatic stress disorder is done well in the first three-quarters of this book (which is really my only positive opinion about it). One downside is that practically every bad choice he makes (and there's more than a handful) is pinned on this, which makes him both unrealistic and difficult to criticize. (Skylar herself says he can't blame his PTSD if they date, which is...weird in terms of how it fits into the book. And totally casts a strange light on post-traumatic stress. But I digress.) So I'll just say he feels unrealistic. Like, pre-tour in Afghanistan Josh: womanizer, drunkard, asshole. After serving in military: a kind, handsome charmer with one leg, PTSD and a heart to give. It's a little much. Also it doesn't fit with all the skeezy things he does during the course of this book.

In terms of more minor characters...the mom was just awful. In this story, she curses at her daughter, forces her to take care of her, nearly ruins her life, slaps her across the face, invites a man that makes Skylar uncomfortable to live in their home, loudly has sex with him in the next room, treats Josh terribly because he's polite and has one leg (I'm blaming this one on the weird writing), refuses to get a job (so her daughter has to work at two) and generally makes things a living hell for poor old Sky. But in the end, we're supposed to forgive her? Even though she's moving with the aforementioned suitor across the country and essentially abandoning Sky? Just because she apologizes? Yikes.

Chris and Dylan, the aforementioned best friends, were really flat. Chris (who is not the classic hometown stereotype one, but, in fact, a guy) was really self-involved and bad at being a friend. He also mooned over Dylan in spite of the fact that she was happily taken. It was annoying. Dylan (the poor victim of Creek View, who is a girl) wasn't bad, I guess.

Also, this book acts like love is a prescription for PTSD. Not a cure right away, but it hints that it is over time. And I don't like that. Mental illness can't be cured with a lot of hugz, and indicating that it can be is extremely damaging to those suffering and their loved ones.

HAHAHA remember when I thought this review would be short? Guess I hated this more than I thought.

Bottom line: this book was overwrought and problematic. I didn't even like the characters. A total disappointment, and my hopes weren't that high in the first place.

And...that's three one star reviews in a row. 2017 is treating me well already.