The story begins with a question posed by the Author Ela Lee, whom asked which three words would we use to describe ourselves. This made me think, and rethink. Especially as I was mindful of how different adjectives have connotations for individuals. In the end, I chose reflective, wonderer, and unforgiving. These three are what describes me best, and influenced by my personality, chosen way of life, gender and culture. These three words also convey relative privilege.


This astonishing debut revolves around Ceyda (known as Jade). She is an associate, who attended the Firm party. The following morning, she wakes up and begins to piece together what has happened by the sounds, images, objects around her. Snippets start to flash back as Jade begins the painful process of remembering and processing. Without spoiling the strong debut, this story artfully shines a light on sexual assault, the impact on the survivor and those around them, the painful gaslighting and centring of other voices and the complicity we play into.


There are far too many quotes which resonated with me at work, my family and my life...But I have chosen a few:
"I am annoyed by the implications that we were subjected to blind metriocracy"
"A room full of white people, applauding themselves on the formation of an almost al-white diversity committee, was painful"
"My time has come to pay the illusion forward"
"When white people interacted with diversity initiatives, they recieved social kudos. When a minority took part, they were seen as radical warriors, inappropriately politicising the workplace"
"Any criticism of the status quotas met with the devaluation of personal currency"


As Jade's journey progressed, we see the tensions she experienced as she walks the tightrope of her multiple accesses across different cultures, settings and interactions. However they always come at the cost of centring whiteness, upper middle class expectations. Ela posed many contemporary questions for children of immigrant parents; many of which are unspoken or unspeakable.
"My parents have been cleaning roads all their lives. There was a responsibility to them to live a happy, fulfilled life. To make their diversity worthwhile"
"A sort of reverse parenting when the child takes on the supervision of their parents, flanking them from an early age if they were being humiliated"
"Angie always went to great lengths to to prove how much she has accepted me...only people on the outside has to be accepted in"


This is a mindblowingly brilliant debut; I recommend everyone to read this, sit with the discomfort, shame and guilt which arises and do better.