"the child must adapt to ensure the illusion of love, care, and kindness, but the adult does not need this illusion to survive. They can give up their amnesia and then be in a position to determine their actions with open eyes. Only this path will free them from depression. Both the depressive and the grandiose person completely deny their childhood reality by living as though the availability of the parents can still be salvaged: the grandiose person through the illusion of achievement, and the depressive through their constant fear of losing "love". Neither can accept the truth that this loss or absence of love has already happened on the past, and no effort whatsoever can change this fact."