DNF 41% basically throwing money away.

What a waste of a gorgeous book cover.

I am wondering why Robin Hobb (I love) and John Gwynne are bigging up this puerile flex of profanity, your mama/wife jokes, and Periods as an excuse for bitchiness referenced TWICE in the span of a few pages (my gawd, hi, the 90s called and they said to tell you that v-health bashing is passé *eye-roll*).

Moving on.

Utterly boring dogmatic pontification (of the lazily disguised Catholic secret sect variety) but, get this, with tattoos (ummm hello, Peter V Brett would appreciate your stanning via his socials/Dms).

M/M sex referred to as sodomy (that means rape, in case anyone cares, a term which has absolutely no bearing on what happens between consenting adults) but yet underaged sexing/ problematic behaviour exhibited by the sketchy adults in the first half of this book is part of the narrative. I shudder.

I thought I'd be able to get through this but it's really a litany of vulgarity, and I'm bored of how many times I have to read that Gabe is into women, or something about their milky thighs, or some serving woman/thrall who reminds him of whoring or/ of a brothel or something to that effect that I've already tuned out and forgotten. Oh, and of course, breasts.

I get it. Sort of.

I mean, I thought Gabe took vows of chastity or some shit. So I don't really understand this continuous affirmation of het sex as a thing. In this story. Chock full of nuns and Brothers. Who cuss and quote scripture in the same breath. Which, by virtue, is the absolute fuckin opposite of sexy. Unless that's like your fetish or something. Right.

I'm really mad that this book had Alucard potential, but it's really just two-dimensional vapid characters braying, bullying and being insufferably boring.

There were three vampire fights. At 40%.

There are better books to read... definitely ones more surreptitious about biting Game of Thrones' white walkers and LOTR's love of the pipe.