It took me awhile to do this review because I really had to sit with my thoughts after reading this. I don’t know where to begin but I can say the author picked the perfect title for the book because I was definitely left unsettled and confused.

The novel is told in three alternating perspectives between Ava, Dutchess, and Toussaint taking us deeper into each of their lives. Through each viewpoint we see them experience hardship, heartbreak, loss, failure, grief, and pain. It was unsettling to see how things continued to get worse for these characters before anything got better. By the end of the book I found myself only sympathizing with Toussaint. Nobody knows the true pain one has experienced until their story is told.

Mathis explores the consequences of irrational decisions, the depths of poor parenting passed from generation to generation, the dangers of co-dependency, and how our actions can have an everlasting impact on our life and those around us.

The authors vivid details really helped paint a clear picture of what was happening throughout the book. I did feel some things were out of place and didn’t really make sense. But nothing about the book was predictable I could really feel the authenticity and realism throughout. The emotions and dialogue was depicted in a way that made this all seem too real. Which I think added a lot of richness and depth to the characters.

I didn’t agree with half the things Ava did and felt she was doing to Toussiant exactly what her mother had done to her. Basically creating this never ending cycle of trauma. Can’t say which situation was worse for Ava living in the shelter or dealing with Cass and the mass amount of BS that came with him.

Overall, this was an okay book but I think the structure makes it hard to get through. I was also left with a lot of unanswered questions and felt the book ended so abruptly. Special thanks to the author and @aaknopf for my gifted copy‼️

Rating: 3.5/5⭐️