Yeahhhhh I DNF’d this because telling people that in order to better their lives they need to reconnect with abusive parents isn’t something that we should promote? 

“try to understand what happened to them to make them act that way towards you.” 

Yes I agree. If that helps you move on and grow from what happened to you. Please do it but please do not reconnect with people who were abusive towards you because studies show having a relationship with your parents helps you live longer. Correlation does not equal causation.