“For want of my father, I was lost.”

This book is…
About grief.
About loss.
About heartbreak.
About pain.
About despair.
About cruelty.
About betrayal.
About darkness.
About the river.
About giving up and drowning.
“Sometimes I float along the river
For to its surface I am bound
And there are times stones done fill my pockets, oh Lord,
And it's into this river I drown”

And this book is…
About love.
About hope.
About joy.
About faith.
About belief.
About miracles.
About humanity.
About sunrise.
About light.
About holding on and rising.
“It reminds me every day that there is beauty in the world. That even though it may feel like we are alone sometimes, we are never truly alone.”

This book is about Benji. Benjamin Edward Green.
And his love of two men.
One is his father. Edward Benjamin Green. The larger-than-life Big Eddie. The greatest man in the world.
The other is his guardian angel. Caliel Blue. Who fell from the sky. For him.
This is their story.




P.S.: While this book is about the aftermath of tragedy and the resultant emotional and psychological struggles of Benji, that's not all that it is about. It is so much more. However, even if it is (only about Benji's soul-crushing sadness), that is not anyone's place to say that he needed "to buck the f*ck up" and "the number of a good psychologist, a large bottle of antidepressants and … take up journaling." Grief does not have an expiry date. Mourning need not have a timeline. To belittle grief and its impact in such a condescending way is no less than being cruel, especially to those millions of people all over the world who suffer from crippling depression. Not even the best psychologist, the largest bottle of antidepressants, and copious amount of journaling can guarantee a cure. Readers should note that they may not like a book (for whatsoever reason), but that does not give them the right to trivialize a serious medical illness just because they can.