5 ⭐ CW: murder, violence, suicide, descriptions of blood and gore, child sacrifice, child soldiers, anxiety attacks

"You don't get to choose why people love you. But what you do with the love you receive... that's a choice you make everyday."

Redemptor by Jordan Ifueko is the second book in the Raybearer duology. I fucking loved this book so so much. Yes, it was good enough for me to swear about it lol 😂. I just love love the way Ifueko weaves a story and suspense and the way she explores characters flaws without magically getting rid of those flaws.

We pick up where we left off with Tarasai after she dissolves the treaty with the Underworld and becomes a the last Redemptor, freeing Songlander and Arit children from being sacrificed. We follow Tar as she attempts to get the Vassal rulers of Aritsar to love her enough to be anointed with the Ray to her own council.

Surprisingly, the majority of the book doesn't take place in the Underworld. Instead we learn more about each of the Vassal rulers as Tar tries to get them to love her, even using her memory Hallow to share all of her memories to aid the process. She soon finds out that you can't hide the parts of yourself you don't like and expect people to love you. How can they love you if they don't have the full picture, warts and all?

We see Tarasai become consumed with the need to do something about the Redemptor children who died in the Underworld, to the point where she is now seeing visions of them, ojiji, who act as a metaphor for anxiety, imposter syndrome, burnout, and intrusive thoughts. The thing that ultimately helps Tar through this--like in the previous book--is love (and not romantic love). We see more themes on intimacy being more than just sexual or romantic, but a basic need.

As always I love our wise cinnamon bun, Dayo, always there to be helpful and hopeful, usually at the wrong time. Dayo learns he can have a nonsexual relationship and have it be just as fulfilling. We also get Tarasai not wanting to have children! The last female character I read that was up front and honest about that was Katsa in Graceling by Kristin Cashore. We also get some disability rep in this book with a character who is an amputee and a character with PTSD and a stutter.

As much as I loved this duology, I'm sad it's over! I can't wait to see what's next for Ifueko!