A review by minimicropup
Dearest by Jacquie Walters

challenging dark emotional mysterious tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

Oof and Ew. This was an unsettling, visceral dive into the rawness of motherhood. There were so many wtf moments and I almost noped out a few times, but I’m glad I stuck with it. 
 
Energy: Distraught. Psychedelic. Evil.  
 
🐕 Howls
The graphic depictions of post-birth, breastfeeding, and newborn care…maybe coulda toned that down a little? Sometimes it felt gratuitous, but also, it’s mostly Facts so I should probably take that up with nature, not here. 
 
🐩 Tail Wags
The slow-building sense of dread and unpredictability. How it made me so jumpy. The Twists. The unromanticising of parenthood. The honesty - as someone who doesn’t want children, I gained more empathy for those who do and the complex feelings involved.  Showing the destructive impact children have on the ones that brought them into existence. 
 
Scene: 🇺🇸 Set in a family home in Bennington, Vermont
Perspective: A former genetic counsellor’s is alone at home caring for their newborn baby, while their spouse is deployed overseas. In a moment of desperation, they reach out to the mother they went no-contact with. We also get flashbacks into the family dynamics a few generations back. 
Timeline: Current (2010s or 2020s).
🔥 Fuel: Emotional Stakes. Big Twists and Reveals reframing the story. Unpredictability. Should our main character reach out to her estranged mother for help? What is real and what is only in her mind? How can she protect her baby from herself? Or others? Why is this happening to her? 
📖 Cred: Hyper-realistic surrealism
 
Mood Reading Match-Up:
Breast milk. Diapers. Grapefruit and coconut. Swear, sulfur, and old cheese. Pelting rain. Rancid body odour. Power outage. Crunching snow. Pus. 
  • Complex, conflicted motherhood experience
  • Relatable or cathartic moments for mothers/parents
  • Sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, unreliable narrator
  • Childhood imaginary friend returns
  • Curled up on a rainy/snowy day reads (but not while eating, never while eating 🤢)
  • Symbolic commentary exploring narcissistic abuse, the curse of generational trauma, the sacrifices around motherhood
  • Where does reality end and the dream/nightmare begin surrealism
  • Shadow self, post-partum, or possession manifesting as body horror
  • Something-is-wrong-with-this-child and Doppelganger paranoia fuel
  • Third person narratives where the reader is flitting from fly on the wall, to time-traveller, to deep in the character’s mind
  • Sensory, eerie, chaotic world building
 
Content Heads-Up: Breastfeeding (descriptive; infection, pain, sensations, pumping). Birth, post-pregnancy (descriptive). Hallucinations, delusions, paranoia. Sleep deprivation. Loneliness. Bug stuff (beetles). Infection, pus (descriptive; wound). Blood, body fluids. Sleep paralysis. Toxic parent. Voyeurism (online; very brief). Institutionalization, psychosis (brief recall; anxiety about). Animal cruelty (very brief on page recall; child to dog). Fire (burns; brief but descriptive). Post-partum mental illness/‘baby blues’. Family annihilation (intrusive thoughts, depictions, descriptive recall).
 
Rep: American. Cis. Hetero. Ambiguous skin tones.
 
📚 Format: Library Digital
 
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