Rating: 4 stars

Format: Physical book, Audiobook

Genre: Literary fiction

Wow, what to even say about this book? It was visceral and bizarre and sensual and cathartic. The writing was punchy and evocative. The underlying tension in the prose and in the protagonist’s restless languor kept me locked in. It took me about 15% of the way to get really invested, but once I was, I couldn’t stop thinking about this story. I was dreading what she would do to bring about the excitement and change she so badly desired and how she would potentially blow her life up along the way.

Though I am a true hater of cheating as a plot device in books, the broader discussions about monogamy, parenthood, menopause, sexuality, aging, all from the perspective of a hilarious and anxiously unhinged middle-aged female protagonist made it work for me. The cheating (and fantasizing about cheating) didn’t just feel like a cheap way to manufacture conflict and it was the foundation of many of the themes of the book. July wove a satisfying complexity into the protagonist’s inner monologue that provided depth and purpose to sexual content that might otherwise have felt shocking for the sake of being shocking. 

I swapped between the physical book and audiobook and I would recommend the physical book. The audio is read by the author and I thought her performance was okay, but she has a dry quality to her delivery that made some sections less impactful. 

Some people could easily find this book pretentious or “too much” but I loved it in all its horrifying, yet so real, weirdness.