This novel follows three men in LA who’ve all lost their partners to AIDS. They meet up regularly to figure out how to keep going, each dealing with it in their own way: trying to get back to normal, rebelling against the disease, or diving into sometimes frightening activism. It’s a raw look at grief, fear, and the search for love and hope in the midst of the HIV/AIDS crisis. This is a partly autobiographical novel as the author wrote this after losing his partner to AIDS. 

“Steven realized he hadn’t looked in anybody’s eyes in over a year, not since the light began to go for Victor. Not even in his own eyes, not even in the mirror.”

Hauntingly beautiful, full of gorgeous prose and heavy topics, this is one novel that will stick with me. I rooted for Steven and Mark to stop being idiots (idiots in love is a favorite trope though) and figure things out. I was hoping Sonny would find his peace and Dell would recognize he wasn’t alone in his grief. 

The found family is really, really strong here. Margaret had me in tears. Heather coming back. Linda making the sacrifice for Marcus. So much beauty in love and loss. Definitely an incredible story.