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A review by parklandmom
A Vow to Cherish by Deborah Raney
4.25
4.25 stars and read via Kindle e-book. Read in August 2023.
I got this book to fulfill a 2023 reading challenge. I needed a book that was published in 2000 or before. I wanted to read something new so I went on a search. I had read a short story or novella by this author earlier this year. When I found this one, I discovered that this was her first book which was later made into a movie. It was written in the mid 90s.
This book’s synopsis stood out for me because of aphasia, dementia, and Alzheimer’s being present in my husband’s and my families. That made it a little emotionally and mentally difficult to read but I still finished it quickly. I had to periodically take little breaks.
The book got better as it went along. It felt a little simplistic early on. The sudden introduction to Julia halfway through was a little jarring. I was admittedly uncomfortable with the friendship and attraction with Julia. Yet I know that Alzheimer’s feels like a death. I was relieved that the story took a turn to honouring a covenant. The ending felt a little rushed. I wish that part happened in the second book, which I will read.
It taught me to less judgmental of those who move onto other relationships, though I’m still wholeheartedly against moving on when you’re still married. It is disrespectful under any and all circumstances. It helped me to see the depth of the pain and loneliness caused by Alzheimer’s. As was said in the book, it is like a death every time you see them and eventually there is nothing there from them anymore.
Where the author really shone was showing the utter devastation of Alzheimer’s. It’s not clean or sensical and there is no manual. Things are always changing back and forth, up and down. Eventually they become a shell and don’t know anyone at all. It is a beast of a disease physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically—for the patient AND the ones who love them.
The author showed the gamut of emotions and struggles by the husband, the kids, friends, family, neighbours, etc. I teared up many times. She did the same for Julia and her boys with the aftermath of losing her husband/their dad. It’s an incredibly tough road to walk.
The Church and the community need to come alongside these hurting people as the Bible instructs. We cannot just ignore them because we don’t know what to say or how to act. Nothing we say or do changes their circumstances. However we can help them to feel connected and cared for. People just need people to sit in the ashes with them, take them for coffee, and simply be WITH them.
There are lots of good life lessons in this book.
I got this book to fulfill a 2023 reading challenge. I needed a book that was published in 2000 or before. I wanted to read something new so I went on a search. I had read a short story or novella by this author earlier this year. When I found this one, I discovered that this was her first book which was later made into a movie. It was written in the mid 90s.
This book’s synopsis stood out for me because of aphasia, dementia, and Alzheimer’s being present in my husband’s and my families. That made it a little emotionally and mentally difficult to read but I still finished it quickly. I had to periodically take little breaks.
The book got better as it went along. It felt a little simplistic early on. The sudden introduction to Julia halfway through was a little jarring. I was admittedly uncomfortable with the friendship and attraction with Julia. Yet I know that Alzheimer’s feels like a death. I was relieved that the story took a turn to honouring a covenant. The ending felt a little rushed. I wish that part happened in the second book, which I will read.
It taught me to less judgmental of those who move onto other relationships, though I’m still wholeheartedly against moving on when you’re still married. It is disrespectful under any and all circumstances. It helped me to see the depth of the pain and loneliness caused by Alzheimer’s. As was said in the book, it is like a death every time you see them and eventually there is nothing there from them anymore.
Where the author really shone was showing the utter devastation of Alzheimer’s. It’s not clean or sensical and there is no manual. Things are always changing back and forth, up and down. Eventually they become a shell and don’t know anyone at all. It is a beast of a disease physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically—for the patient AND the ones who love them.
The author showed the gamut of emotions and struggles by the husband, the kids, friends, family, neighbours, etc. I teared up many times. She did the same for Julia and her boys with the aftermath of losing her husband/their dad. It’s an incredibly tough road to walk.
The Church and the community need to come alongside these hurting people as the Bible instructs. We cannot just ignore them because we don’t know what to say or how to act. Nothing we say or do changes their circumstances. However we can help them to feel connected and cared for. People just need people to sit in the ashes with them, take them for coffee, and simply be WITH them.
There are lots of good life lessons in this book.