Date: 2022.11.23
STOPPED AT 13%
Somehow it doesn't engage me as much as I expected
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Date: 2024.07.01

How am I supposed to act like a normal person now? How should I live again?? Someone show it to me. This book was incredible. It's wonderful, real and endlessly magical. That was all I needed now. Perfect (even with its noticeable flaws), there are simply no better words. I needed time to fall in love with it, but in the end I succeeded.

Jude, she has been on such a long and bumpy road so far, yet she has never strayed from her path for a moment. She has such infinite endurance and strength that it is remarkable. I don't know where she has such a compulsion to continue on her journey, I don't know what moves her, what is the goal that floats before her like a beacon. I can't understand how, after all the horrors, she is able to believe in the light. But I do know that she is the grace her world needs, the understanding light that has led the way to the lost. Uriah, the other sure point, the other cornerstone, who moves until justice is obtained. There's a kind of openness, a kind of naivety, if you want, but it never really blinds him. While Jude slowly begins to open up to the world, he closes in, but that's okay, he needs it. Honestly, Elliot has never been my favorite, it has always annoyed me somehow, but after finding out he was

Jude's brother

, I start to give in to him. Suddenly, he did a lot for Jude — good and bad — but they both need time to process the situation they're in. The little Boy — Michael, Ira, Leroy, Cicus, whatever his name is — became the corner of my heart.  He deserves so much happiness and peace that he hasn't had before that it hurts physically. He had to endure so many horrors and endured so bravely. I sobbed so heartbreakingly inside for him that it was heartbreaking, even though I don't like children.

Now that it's been revealed that he is Jude's younger brother — which makes it even cuter that she adopted him —

I feel like he can really start on the road to recovery. Her relationship with Jude was so cute, absolutely pure and genuine. I'm glad Ava and Octavia have embarked on the road to recovery, it will be long for them, but they will do it together.

Jude and Uriah's relationship has evolved tremendously over the course of the books. It was a long time ago when I read about them in the first book, maybe even lives ago, I don't really know how anymore, but I do know that fate brought them together for a reason. The two of them work so well together. Not against each other, but with each other. They have reached such a level that they can tell what the other person is thinking based on their body language, there is such trust between them that it is incredible. Both are there for the other when needed, not only at work but also in private life, and somehow a silly - but hopeful part of me - sees them together in the future. They both have wounds, deeper and more painful than anything else, but I believe - and know - that they have slowly begun to heal. Jude is already letting him touch her, and sometimes even she needs it, like a weight that chains her to the ground, just as Uriah begins to get over his wife's death. 

Huh this plot was full of twist, shocks, a bunch of rough and brutal stuff, yet this book was the one I liked the most in the trilogy. I was able to pick up the thread very quickly and easily, and it didn't let me go for a minute until the end. Although, truth be told, I endured a couple of heart attacks during the last few chapters and had to put myself on an infusion seven times because I cried so much, in short, it was a real rollercoaster. I wouldn't call the phrasing outstanding - it could be the translator's fault after reading the book in my native language - but it was tolerable, there were quite nice descriptions and quotes. The pace was a bit slow for me at the beginning and I admit that at first it bothered me a lot - mainly because I didn't understand - that there was so much POV in it, but then I understood the necessity. The end (the last chapter) was a fever dream. But really. Everything was so calm, almost strangely peaceful, that suddenly I didn't even know what had happened. It was perfect, every single moment of it.