LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR. (Because I have had far too many derogatory comments on this review from too many people) This review is MY opinion and mine alone. Just because you looove this book and looove Darren Shan does not give you any right to come to my space and tell me that I am ignorant, or stupid, or wrong, or that I "just didn't understand the book." I despised this book, therefore I ranted about it. That is called MY HONEST OPINION. You're entitled to yours, are you not? Well so am I. And that doesn't make either of us wrong.

I find it positively disgusting that I have to consider taking this review down because people can't keep their rude ass comments to themselves. I almost did. But you know what? I shouldn't be ashamed for my opinion. But I am fucking SICK of getting snide comments on this review. People are demeaning me for rating this when I didn't read ALL of it - yet, I read 90% of it, including skimming and speed reading. The 10% I missed was the 10% that had the "big twist" in it.

Spoiler

I KNOW B IS A GIRL, as about 14 different people have informed me in the comments. That does not make her horrendous behavior acceptable and that would NOT have changed my opinion of the book.

The other 90% was so awful and rage-inducing that I would have still ended up writing the same exact thing.

I like characters with flaws and maybe even a hint of darkness. I love antiheroes. But there is a HUGE difference between being flawed and being a complete fucking asshole. I find racism highly offensive, and I have no desire to read about it. Yes, I know it happens. I was engaged to a biracial man. But guess what? I can count the negative interactions we had in our two years of dating on one hand, because I surround myself with people who are just as open-minded as I am. I know racism is a problem. I had a few racist friends as a teenager. But see the key word there? HAD. There's a reason they're no longer my friends. I do not tolerate bullying and racism in real life, nor do I tolerate it in fiction. If something offends me, I have EVERY right to scream that opinion from the mountaintops and to cut that something out of my life. I do not want negativity in my life, real or otherwise. So if you cannot state your opinion in a polite manner, without slinging insults at me for having my own opinion, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. From here on out, I will be deleting any and all rude comments. That is all.



**CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

Let me just say: This synopsis is NOT the one I read. If I had read this one, I probably wouldn't have even bothered with this book. Despite it's short length, I didn't actually read all of it (like 90%). I made a valiant effort. Really, I did. But the lead character, B, was such a douchenozzle that I simply couldn't go on. I usually don't rate things I don't read all of, but I think I read enough that I can, in all fairness, rate this one star. It pissed me off THAT much.

There was absolutely NO redeeming quality in B. He didn't even have a sense of right and wrong, and his moral compass was nonexistent. Mainly because of his father, but still. He was cruel to anyone and everyone, and his attitude rubbed me the wrong way. He tried to buy beer (underage) from a gas station, then mouthed off and made fun of the Arabic guy manning the register when he denied the sale.
One of the teachers made a derogatory comment about B's dad (which was actually founded in truth), so B went and slashed the guy's tires and through a brick through his window. Um?

B pretended not to be racist, but he really was. He acted like he wasn't so he wouldn't be like his dad (who was an even bigger asshole than B).
B didn't like Tyler - not because he was black (so he claimed), but because B stole money from him and he told his dad - 'not keeping his mouth shut and putting up with the theft as any good victim should.' What. The. Eff. And he took a candy bar right out of a girl's hand, and thought she was wrong for getting upset about it. So not only was B a complete jackass, he was a bully, too. FABULOUS.

There was this scene where he was cruel and racist on purpose to piss of a black girl that stood up for Tyler, causing her to lose her temper and attack him. So what does B do? He punches her in the face. Wow, does that make you feel like a man? Hitting a female? Real f*cking classy, dude.

Spoiler

I now know that it was a girl punching another girl, but that still doesn't make it any better, because of this:

Then he says, 'I feel smug, because I know Dad would be proud if he could see me now, bringing an interfering black girl down a peg or two.'

That scene was the last straw for me, I couldn't stand any more. I skimmed to page 100, hoping that there would be some sort change in him, and landed right in yet another scene where B was picking a fight with Tyler. Nope, still an asshole. So I skimmed through the last 50 pages.

Sadly, I didn't find anything better. Quite the contrary - it got worse. Whaaa? That's even possible? Yep.
I spot a couple of teachers inside, chewing on the remains of their colleagues.
"They won't be failing you again," Dad says and we both laugh.
What the hell, man. Cuz it's totally hilarious WHEN PEOPLE ARE F*CKING DYING. D-Y-I-N-G. Argh!! I wanted to throw the book at a wall.
Then - THEN - the zombies are overtaking their group, so B's dad tells him to 'Throw the bloody chimney sweep' to the zombies to save themselves. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A F*CKING PERSON HERE. And B actually did it! Seriously?! Then he blames it on his dad. Nevermind that it was HIS actions. 'He turned me into a killer. He made me throw [said person] to the zombies.' He didn't make him do anything! All he did was tell B to do it, and B did it. B's dad could have told him to jump off a cliff and he'd have done it with a smile on his face.

The realization that he was wrong did come, but only in the last several pages when it was too late. The ending was alright, I guess. He finally got what he deserved.

I felt as if this story was pointless. There was barely any zombies in the first half of the book. It was mostly high school crap, and B hanging out with his friends. There were way too many characters; they were all a giant blur of ridiculous nicknames and didn't have their own personalities, so there was no chance for attachment to any of them. I couldn't bring myself to give two shits about this story (probably mostly because I despised the main character).
This was my first Darren Shan story. Would I read anything else by him? Highly doubtful.


Favorite quote:
"Trust no one. Always question what you're told. Don't believe the lies that people feed you, even if they're your teachers or parents. At the end of the day you have to work out for yourself what's right or wrong."
This is probably the only meaningful sentence in the entire book...and no it didn't come from B (in case you were wondering). He wasn't that deep.


ASSESSMENT
Plot: 1/5
Writing style: 2/5
Originality: 1/5
Characters: 0/5
Pace: 2/5
Cover: 3/5