Oh god my hearttttt!! This book ripped my heart out and then put it back together. It legit made me cry and feel soooo much for these characters. I wanted to give Rafael the biggest, tightest hug. Nico.. I love that kid to bits. And Ellie.. she is the sweetest, purest soul and I'm so happy that these three somehow found their way and ended up together.

This book made me so emotional and my heart broke for all these characters, especially Rafe. God this man. I wish he could see himself the way we saw him. My heart ached for how he wanted to try so hard to connect with Nico but just seemed so lost and how every rejection wounded him a little more but his world always revolved around his son.

The trip was the perfect setting for these 3 to be away from everyone else and spend time together and understand each other and bond. The trip made Nico and Rafe bridge the distance they had when Rafe slowly starting opening up to Nico to help him understand where he comes from and why he is the way he is and does the things he does.

Rafe has a traumatic past and he tried so hard to be the person he thought he had to be due to his abandonment issues. How he hid his true feelings and suppressed his insecurities behind his smiles and trying to be the most popular person so no one would cast him aside again. How these feelings led to his relationship with his ex-wife and how her betrayal was another one to his list that messed him up.

We see Rafe totally giving up on himself and his only purpose and focus being Nico. How he stopped trying, living, and wanting. When he slowly starts opening up about all the things he keep hidden out of fear, embarrassment, and shame, he starts acknowledging how these patterns and behavior were causing more harm to him. But it is when he sees similar patterns in Nico that he realizes he needs to change that example for Nico's sake so he doesn't grow up feeling the way Rafe did.

There was a lot of self reflection and character growth for Rafe and Ellie played a major role in it. She accepted him for him without judging him for his habits, gave him a safe space to gradually open up, showed him that he was loved and accepted for who he was so he didn't need to be anyone but himself, and constantly reassured him knowing his issues and insecurities. Rafe also worked on himself in order to stop sabotaging himself so he could choose a life with Ellie without his past holding him back.

Ellie was such a strong and amazing character. She has her own scars from her past. Both visible and invisible. She has had her own struggles that she worked really hard to overcome and though its a constant battle, she never gives up. I truly loved the TS reference with respect to her scars and her tattoo and it made me tear up. After being betrayed by someone so close to her the way she had been, it took immense courage to get back out there and work on your dreams and that made me so proud of Ellie for not giving up.

Ellie really helped Rafe and Nico find their footing again and finally brought Rafe's smiles back after a long time. I loved seeing how happy it made Rafe feel knowing Ellie had a crush on him for years back in high school cuz that man totally deserves to feel that way.

This book wasn't about fixing each other but about realizing you need help and actively working on it because you want to be a better person not just for yourself, but so you can do justice to the people in your life and set the right example. It was about the constant support you provide to let the other know that you've got their back while they work on themselves. It's about choosing someone for exactly who they are, flaws, scars and all. It was about learning to let go of the past, learning from it but not letting it stop you from reaching out for the future you want.

The rage I felt on behalf of Rafe and Ellie towards certain characters and then the satisfaction I felt towards the end for them getting what they deserved. Just like book 1, I absolutelly loved the side characters and their interactions. They added so much to the story. Rafe's relationship with Julian was so precious.

Again, this book had some really sensitive topics like self harm which the author handled really well.

It was a slow burn and the spice was HAWT af. Especialllyyy while listening to the audiobook. The way Noah B. Perez said "Good girls always come first" has altered my brain permanently. I have to mention that the narrators Noah B. Perez and Vanessa Edwin were incredible and so perfect for these characters.