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A review by mariel_fechik
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead
5.0
Jessica Miller returns to her campus for homecoming ten years after graduating, ten years after the murder of one of her best friends, to reinstate herself as someone worth admiring. When secrets begin to reveal themselves, the reader watches as seven terrible people begin to psychologically unravel, bit by glorious bit. As someone who is always on the hunt for well-done copycats of [b:The Secret History|29044|The Secret History|Donna Tartt|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1451554846l/29044._SY75_.jpg|221359], I am usually wary of any that seem so promising. But rather than disappoint me with attempts at familiar tropes that fell flat, Ashley Winstead surprised me with taking those tropes and making them feel new, even when they weren't. This book gave me exactly what I wanted: the delightful horror of being sucked into a campus that isn't mine but feels like it could be, where horrible people make horrible decisions and maybe get away with them.
Unlike many campus thrillers, this book isn't split simply into a before and after. Instead, it's split between now and a multifaceted then: present day mixed with a jumbled timeline of thens, short vignettes both intense and seemingly mundane. We don't get to know Jess or the rest of the East House Seven chronologically; rather, bits of information are shared when they're needed, all in service to stringing along a narrative that won't fully reveal itself until the book's final moments. In a lesser author's hands, this might have worked to offer only flattened characters fitting into the desired mold. But Winstead, despite the complicated timeline she provided herself, provided nuanced drawings of these characters that make you feel as though you know them deeply. Jess takes on the classic role of the narrator of middling character - someone who isn't good, but wants to be. Thinks they are. In the end, even if I knew exactly what was coming from the beginning of the chapter, it was so satisfying to see the final puzzle piece clunk into place.
Unlike many campus thrillers, this book isn't split simply into a before and after. Instead, it's split between now and a multifaceted then: present day mixed with a jumbled timeline of thens, short vignettes both intense and seemingly mundane. We don't get to know Jess or the rest of the East House Seven chronologically; rather, bits of information are shared when they're needed, all in service to stringing along a narrative that won't fully reveal itself until the book's final moments. In a lesser author's hands, this might have worked to offer only flattened characters fitting into the desired mold. But Winstead, despite the complicated timeline she provided herself, provided nuanced drawings of these characters that make you feel as though you know them deeply. Jess takes on the classic role of the narrator of middling character - someone who isn't good, but wants to be. Thinks they are. In the end, even if I knew exactly what was coming from the beginning of the chapter, it was so satisfying to see the final puzzle piece clunk into place.