This was wholly unexpected. I thought I was going to get a dark psychological thriller, but ended up getting a messy, poignant analysis of grief. 
This book was beautifully executed with smart pacing. I was compelled to read it in one sitting. 
It dealt with a lot of heavy issues through the perspective of a teen really working through huge emotions and circumstances. I liked that therapy was woven into the story and thought the therapy sparked some interesting discussions and points. 
I look forward to reading this author’s previous works. 

PLEASE LOOK UP TRIGGER WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS BOOK. i will add all of the possible trigger warnings to my review bc there are quite a lot. 

I don’t even recall what drove me exactly to request this book—maybe it was the idea of a boarding school or maybe that Moira was dealing with the grief of losing her best friend—but whatever it was, I am so glad this book found its way to me. 

CW:
MC-nonpracticing Jewish rep, grief, 
Supporting-portrayal of cutting/self harm, depression, hair pulling, adhd, anger, selective mutism, ED, etc

This book was such a great, realistic look at mental illness and grief and in a way that didn’t glorify or abhor them but just presented it as it is. 

I went in thinking from the description that there would be some sort of fantasy or escapism mystery but instead the author showed us in real time that it’s exactly that kind of thinking that allows us to avoid dealing with our pain and ourselves. While the MC Moira is showing us how she is adjusting to life in the castle school, we also see glimpses into the other 11 girl’s’ viewpoints and how they ended up at the school as well. And through the escape to the other school we see Moira and the others begin to face their own inner turmoil with the help of eachother and Dr. Prince. 

Moira’s experience with loss and grief resonated so powerfully for myself, not only because it was so raw and real and true but because it is so similar to that of my own story and the loss of my brother. This is a book that I think will provide catharsis for readers who have lost someone who died too young and didn’t know how to deal with that loss. This book will speak to those who have dealt with mental illness and been told they were too much to deal with, too broken, for their families or therapists to deal with anymore. It’s a book that says it’s okay to show those parts of yourself, to grieve, to be vulnerable, and that everyone is going through things that may or may not be visible to others. It’s about the messiness of loving and dying, of living with mental illness, of resentment and forgiveness and second chances and seeking help. 

It’s one of those books that will stay with me for my life and that I hope to recommend to others struggling with these things in the future. 

Thanks to NetGalley and Source Books Fire for this arc. 

Sheinmel nailing on the head with mental health, once again. Stay tuned for a full review next week!