OH MY GOD! is my first thought after the book.

i ended the box sobbing as i underlined the last couple of pages with LITERAL foggy eyes😭 i think this book was written very well - especially with consideration that it’s a translation. 
its undoubtedly devastating; at times, bittersweetly devastating. there were times where there was a lot of hope for the character but were quickly washed away by an outlying scene. it’s a very reflective book and had me thinking a lot - which is why it got full stars. 
it’s pretty much an open-ended book. the narrators plot was a good ending—

but with kojima, it’s a little different. (still sobbing abt her btw) but my take on this is that kojima had to be left behind because she was full of suffering and pain. she was unable to exist and function without this pain, therefore was upset when narrator wanted to remove a factor of his pain; his lazy eye. they traumabonded and she wanted them to stay like that. but narrator chose otherwise by fighting against the pain; in this case, leaving kojima and removing his lazy eye.

ANYWAY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL! side note; wish we had been shown the painting of Heaven but we work with it :>

This book was so much. Like wow.

Anyways, I really enjoyed the start and definitely the middle but i needed some more with the ending. I really loved the characters and I felt sorry for them. But I didn't understand them at some times.

I wanted some more with that picture. The books name is Heaven and I wanted him to at least end up seeing the painting. Instead it ended with his eye surgery. Like come on now. 
And also I was kinda in “shock” about the ending and this fact that the girl did EVERYTHING they asked her to do. It was such a strong scene and I don’t if I was quite ready for that (it really just shocks be how they can take it all and they don’t do anything back, like they don’t have any anger. But of course they have anger. An quote from the book: “Because were always in pain, we knows exactly what it’s like to hurt somebody else.”).
Of course it makes this book even more interesting and I probably won’t forget this book. 
I will think about what this book was trying to tell and how Momose said how everything didn't matter in this world (especially because I never though of thinking that way. It lays me so distant to not care at all. But thank you to this book for showing me that perspective and giving me something to think about).

started out really strong. i'm not sure how i feel about the ending however. also i just found at times it didn't know exactly where it was going or what it necessarily wanted from the characters and their dynamic.