This is the first ever book that I finished, closed, then IMMEDIATELY opened up and started reading all over again 🤩 

It’s giving everything every lovable YA book gave, back in the day, but with adult themes thrown in there too.

I’m honestly obsessed with Oleander, she’s like a swearier Katniss Everdeen 🤣 

Love this book and the only reason it’s not getting a full 5⭐️ is because I’m livid at how much I’m going to have to fork out for the rest of the series. Can’t seem to find second hand versions anywhere and with each of the later books all costing between £16.99- £19.99, this new  addiction will likely set me back almost £100 💀💀💀💀 (absolutely not gonna be able to stop me though 😅)

 Are y'all ready for a different side of me? No but seriously, I normally stick to posting about books I love, but I read a book that has been on my TBR forever and I had high hopes for it. I love the cover and I thought this would be a nice little spicy read. Little did I know this would be one of my most hated books. If you like this book, maybe skip my review? You've been warned.

Yeah umm no. Nope, nuh uh, 1 star. Where are the trigger warnings? I thought maybe it was just because I listened to the audiobook, but nope. I just checked the Kindle edition and there's none. From what I can tell there's none on the author's website either. There's sa, literal sa, in this supposedly spicy book, and that's the extent of the smut, a r* scene. F* this book.

Olli, our main character is insufferable. Constantly whining, complaining and unnecessarily using the word freaking every other sentence. She's 19 but acts like a child.

The book feels so repetitive and goes nowhere. The main character is supposedly super powerful and scary but has to hide it all away and can't tell her fated bonds a single word about any of it. They all treat each other horribly and even the one guy who's decent, I'm sitting here wondering when he's gonna flip. Toxic with a capital T all but the one.

The r* culture just being accepted and acceptable is beyond wild. The fact that Olli is sa'd and the author goes above and beyond to convince us and the characters that it wasn't actually sa makes me so mad. The author could have done something really good with that narrative and spoken to what a victim of sa goes through, but instead gaslights Olli, her bonds, and us.

Among other triggers is k*dnapping, emotional ab*se, physical ab*se, mis*gyny, g*slighting, t*rture, domestic ab*se, cl*ssism, false impr*sonment, conf*nement, v*ctim blaming, and probably a whole lot more I'm forgetting.

On the language side of things, "freaking" appears 179 times, "b*tch" 55 times, "f*ck" 466 times, "sh*t" 181 times, "a*shole" 62 times, "d*ck" 34 times, and "d*mn" 63 times.

Originally this was just meh, like a train wreck I couldn't look away from. I was alternating between 3 and 2 stars. After finding out there's no trigger warnings whatsoever, it's a 1 for me. This may just be my new hated book on the same level as Haunting Adeline. I picked up book 2 from Libby because apparently I like torturing myself. I thought it had to get better. We'd turn around the plot on the r*ist and do something about him, but no. She's just crying over her freaking leather boots she couldn't live without that she lost in book 1. Like what?

Olli is a total mean girl, not a girl's girl.

The only good thing going for this book is that the cover art is gorgeous. So maybe we should stop judging books by their covers. Smh. 

I don't think I would have finished this book if I hadn't listened to it. First, the word choice makes Oli seem very young - too young - to be in college and destined to bond with 5 guys of various ages (three in college and two with professions) and too whiny. However, the audiobook means I can breeze through the cringe parts. Second, I thought the central conflict was Oli trying not to bond with the guys when she has to interact with at least one of them everyday (a romance plot). But, after reading, it appears that the central conflict is Oli keeping her gift a secret from her bondmates (a fantasy plot). The audiobook kept me going when I realized that I'd listened to more than 50% of the book and Oli was unlikely to get with one of her bonds by the end - at this point I put book two on hold with my library in case I wanted to continue the series. Overall, it was a quick interesting read but not something I would typically pick up or finish.

Did I enjoy this? No. Did I fly through it? Yes. Will I read the next one? Probably. 

this shit was ASS 
this was not a good book for so many reasons
TW: SA, violence, EA

ok from the get go the writing in this book was very poorly edited, with many grammar mistakes and spelling errors that were just a bit infuriating. ok, not the worst thing, sometimes a given with independently published authors

but then…we get into the structure of the story. of which there is none. no plot, just interactions and this weird mystery over who and what the character is and what their past entails. I cannot begin to explain how annoying this was, and i love a good mystery mc 

then we get into the men that are “bonded” with this character (the whole “why choose” aspect of this book), and this is really the icing on the cake. there is absolutely no reason why I would want any of these men except MAYBE one who isn’t even really a part of the story until somewhere towards the end. let me tell you why each mmc is bad:

- gabe: is a doormat and has no personality through the entire book and his only purpose is to be bodyguard and liaison for the other men
-north: controlling POS who does not give a fuck about the wants and needs of fmc, literally has her get a tracking chip put into her neck???? literal EA
- nox: literal r*pist. huh??? and you expect me to want to like him in the next book??? not to mention he’s her teacher???
- gryphon: doesn’t interact at all with fmc, until he does, and then he doesn’t again. like he does not care, i am convinced. also why should i care????
- atlas: the only one i gave a shit about and he was kinda cringe /:

the ending of this book was so hastily written and the action made no sense to me and i still don’t understand fmc’s power. like is it nightmares? is it death? suffering? I don’t know. all I can say is that I have more questions than answers.

i like torturing myself with bad books so best believe i will be reading the next book in this series. i love wasting my time. who knows, maybe ill dnf.

I found Oli to to be such a let down as a main female protagonist. She's all thought and no action. Never once did she try to plan this grand escape to get away after being found. She says f*ck constantly or "I could die". She's 19 but acts like she's 13, which makes sense to the story given the age she ran away. It makes for very boring and repetitive internal dialogue. The biggest problem I had with this book was Oli hiding her power from the reader the WHOLE book (expect the last chapter). I get her hiding it from those around her but it doesn't make sense to hide it from the reader. I think it would have made the character easier to understand and empathize with, if we as the reader knew her ability. I know the author probably did this to build suspense for but doesn't offer any value, imo. Lastly, I would consider this book to be a YA for sure which I don't think it's marketed that way.