~ARC provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review~

I'll start with what I did like so it's not lost in whatever comes next. The style of writing made it easy to read, it's light and fluffy, and serious when it needs to be. Mercedes was an interesting main character, I didn't like her, but it was nice to read a YA contemporary that's quite different. Firsts make a lot of promises and the potential was so obvious.

I wanted this book to be so about empowerment but it was so bad how lacking the empathy was towards the females vs the amount of care was taken into sympathising with the boys she slept with, especially they cheated on their girlfriends with Mercedes. But I felt so bad for her when she receives the brunt of the abuse from the girlfriends.

Mercedes logic behind why she’s provided her service is understandable, but again it lacks any proper exploration until the very end where it’s delivered in the biggest info dump ever. She never once tells her experience to the girlfriends or attempts to clear the air on why she did it. I get that they're extremely mad at her, but considering how strong she was in her justification of her own actions to herself, I just thought she would try at least. Like her reasoning makes sense, but at the same time, I was sitting there going, you're sleeping with peoplewho are already dating other people.

Also, the character of Faye felt so forced and was such an obvious plot device to put Mercy and Zach together. (mercy's like oh this new girl is hotter than me, zach is obvs going to like her better than me, despite zach being so blatantly obvious about his feelings towards Mercy) The use of a stereotype with the spanish exchange student and his broken english language who coerces Mercedes into consenting to sex was something that just didn't sit well with me. At all. Mercedes shames her supposed best friend for wanting to wait until marriage and treats her mother like shit, and when she attempts to try to fix their relationship, she just chucks it back into her face.

I think the biggest issue I had with this novel was the message it sent about consent. Twice Mercedes tells boys to disregard consent, and completely misrepresents consent and confuses what is a very clear case of rape. I also didn't enjoy how the trauma Mercy exhibits is never fully addressed despite it's obviously a huge factor in Mercedes choices.

Overall, a novel that was filled with potential. This novel is set in our modern world where women are valued as object based solely on their sexual availability to men. I “get” where Mercedes was coming from, despite being completely different to her. Don't be bogged down by my low rating, it's a good because the book does point out an important double standard about sexually active girls and teen boys and does portray a realistic and challenge to slut-shaming and double standards.

I finished it so that is a huge accomplishment (for the book not me) because these days I've been bogged down by bad tropes and even worse writing.

Firsts was good. I read through it in about 6/8 hours and took in all itms glory and horrid moments (horrid in a good way). But for me, if fell just short of being profound and instead became a well written (though sometimes repetitive) book about a girl who has too much sex

Spoiler

because their is a hole in her heart.

I wanted this to explore the murkiness of female sexuality and society standards and the trials of trying to liberate oneself from self hate vs learned shame. But the story takes a turn for a weird place

Spoiler

Faye and Zach sex tape leading to Mercedes feeling a little better about sharing the explicit spotlight?

Issues:

Plot line: in the beginning And middle I'd often feel like I was floating with no direction. I didn't mind so much as Mercy was kind of "floating" herself but in the early middle I wanted to feel a little more direction even if that was a one way road to hell. I didn't get that until I was in the dead center of the book going into the last half. (~ 120-150 pages in).

Not a huge issue and I wouldn't dock stars for it as it worked for the story the majority of the time.

Missing parent syndrome: I get it, it was well contrived but still contrived.

Spoiler

I was waiting for Mercy and Kim to come to a head and either take a turn for the worse or be like an explosion with the a fallout that calls for rebuilding. Neither happened

The conflict:

Spoiler

the video of her and other kids having sex being leaked. Honestly, this is where shows like Degrassi get it right. Her school would have gotten involved and Mercedes, 17, would have been the victim of a child pornography case.

Can we also mention the sex tape shown to the entire school? That's also illegal as it's child pornography and exposing a minor to sexual acts. I think people forget the law about these kinds of things, which is natural because most people do until it happens for real...

Overall It was good. I enjoyed it. Would I pick up another Flynn? Eh, the plot line will need to be extremely interesting for me to do so.

Completely unexpected but loved every minute of it.
This got put on the the read three times because it was that amazing. I had to read it twice in one year and probably will read again soon

Firsts is Laurie Flynn's debut novel and what a debut it is! This is hands down one of my favorite books of the year.

Mercedes offers herself to virgin guys in an attempt to help get them through the awkwardness of their first time. She has this thing about ensuring that the first time these boys have sex with their girlfriends it's perfect - something Mercedes never had herself. She has a proverbial line in the sand as far as how many guys she's willing to do this for, but the line continues to get crossed as Mercedes is approached by more and more guys. Soon she starts to lose sight as to why she started to do this in the first place. Things come to a head when her best friend's boyfriend approaches Mercedes for her "services".

With a blurb like that, how could you not want to check this book out? It definitely doesn't disappoint. For as emotional and heart wrenching the story is, the ending makes it worth it. But Mercedes herself really makes the story. She's a bit a of a bad ass. I loved watching her overcome her issues and realize that trusting people doesn't always end badly.

Then add Josh and Faye into the mix, who are willing to stand behind Mercedes no matter what, and the story is that much better.

If you're looking for an emotional read with a happy ending, I'd highly suggest checking this out! I can't wait to see what Flynn comes out with next.

Note: I received a copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

*Thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review*

Okay, so it took me quite a while to sort through my feelings for this book. On one hand, I really applaud the author for skillfully handling typically touchy topics like teenage sex. On the other hand, I do have a few issues with the main character's... decisions, which (to say the least), weren't very sensible. In fact, they were repetitive and annoying too.

Before I go into more detail, here's a quick rundown on what this book's about. Mercedes isn't your typical next-door slut. She doesn't just take the virginities of guys, oh no. She actually helps them to 'get their awkward, fumbling, first times over with' by tutoring them about sex - in her bedroom, where obviously less tutoring happens - so that they could give their girlfriends the perfect first time. I know, messed up right? As you probably already guessed, it starts out pretty well at first and Mercedes actually helps these poor guys, but things soon start to get rough afterward (pun intended) when Mercedes' best friend's boyfriend (spare me) approaches her to make use of her 'services'. Basically, drama ensues and fucked up shit happens.

When I first read the blurb of this book, a thrill went through me and I thought This is it. This is my book. It seemed risky, wild, and was bound to be a disappointment. I was intrigued. When I started reading it, I completely got sucked in and before I knew it, I was done - no more than two sittings later. Yep, definitely a page turner.

Even though Mercedes was annoying as hell and half the time I found myself wanting to jump in and shake her, she was such an interesting character to read about. I already knew how the story was going to go down - it was pretty obvious - but learning about her dark past and slowly getting glimpses of it just really pulled me in even more. Mercedes was so completely fucked up and genuinely wanted to do a favor to these boy's girlfriends; she was frustrating, messed up and such a dynamic character. I really, really liked her.

There were also other characters like Zack and Faye who were just pure awesome. Zack was so cute, dorky, intense, amazing, utterly adorable... I could go on & on with the adjectives but you get my point. He was Mercedes' Wednesday fuck buddy/lab partner who's also into her, but Mercedes - who's a bit of a control freak -keeps him at an arms length. We also have Faye, the new beautiful, brash, confident girl in school who made Mercedes question her sexuality. She was pretty shady at and I admit I didn't like her at first, but she eventually grew on me. Especially at the end after shit went down and she helped Mercedes without thought for the consequences she herself will incur.

Another thing I love about this is how it seems very superficial at a glance, but in reality, there are hidden principles of morality, friendship, and sexuality to be found. The writing also contributed to this; it really helped move the story along & had me completely hooked.

Overall, I'd like to say that Firsts was an amazing debut by Laurie and I absolutely can't wait to read more of her books in the future. The writing was flawless and the character were drenched in realism. I can't recommend this book enough, so make sure you get your hands on a copy. Preorder it now before its release in January!

Oof. Addicting, intense, and unlike any YA book I've read before.

Mercedes believes she is helping couples to have the first time she never had, by teaching guys how to satisfy their ladies (by sleeping with them) and then helping them to plan the perfect night for their "first time". Sure, this storyline is provocative (this arrangement is kept a secret from the girlfriends) but the author raises so many important points about sex -- girls who want to stay virgins, girls who happily want to have sex with their significant others, the pressure of THE FIRST TIME, and girls who had no choice and got stripped of their virginity. I loved all the layers here, and think this book would have been invaluable to me when I was in high school -- especially because there was no candid discussion about sex in this capacity at school, at home, or amongst my friends.

I was very interested in Mercedes' stunted relationship with her mom (could have used more here) and captivated by her new friend Faye. (They had some killer chemistry too.) And, of course, Zach was pretty much everything Mercedes had no idea she needed. She really did have people in her corner and it took forgiving herself to embrace all the good around her. Flynn also gives readers a strong, imperfect female friendship that I haven't seen much in YA and I was really happy to read here. There was compromise, misunderstanding, but there was also a loyalty and commitment that Angela and Mercedes felt to one another.

Lots to discuss and unpack in this book; looking forward to reading more from Flynn in the future.

Even with some, what I consider, minor flaws, this book was wonderful. Review to come.

Actually I'd rate this 3.5-3.75 stars, but Goodreads doesn't allow decimal stars, so that's life.

This book went in a way different direction than I expected and pleasantly surprised me in it's surprises and the way it proceeded.

The writing in this book was very true to teenagers, but still excellent for a debut novel. I wouldn't have guessed this was Flynn's first novel and I think she crafted a great, insightful, raw novel about teenage sexuality and friendship and facing past demons without too many fatal flaws.

The main problem I had with this book was that the twists sometimes actually came out of nowhere. Some of the character development was weak, and the characters actions didn't always make sense, but maybe that was part of building to the surprises that came.

Overall, I enjoyed this book more than I thought and it was a very different YA contemporary than most of the others I've read. It tackled teen sexuality in a very blunt way, but I loved that, because it's too often glossed over or severely downplayed and I liked how truthful Mercedes was in her experiences and her actions.

Also, extra points for the CUTE love interest.

I loved the idea of this book. And the narrator, Mercedes, is likeable and probably the only reason I finished it. Unfortunately, there were a lot of downfalls that would prevent me from recommending it to others.

For one, the villain is one-dimensional. Other than appearance, there was nothing redeemable about him. In fact, all of the male characters were flat, boring, and predictable. Mercedes and Faye were the only characters that had positive attributes with their flaws, instead of just good like Angela or just bad like Kim. The parts of the end that I wanted to know more were rushed; the stuff I didn't care about, the author dwelled.

In the end, I didn't care what happened to the characters. I was disappointed by the obvious decisions. The first chapter held such potential.

I started my review and then I lost it when my computer shut down on me. So hopefully this is just as good as the first one.

Okay, I was recommended this book by an author and decided that now that I read their book I would read something they recommended. I knew the basic premise of the book but was still taken aback at the boldness of it. Mercy invites virgins into her bed so that she can help these boys give their girlfriends the best, most romantic first time. That's right, these boys are in happy relationships all except the fact that they are scared witless about their first time. Mercy treats this like a service, one in which she is helping the girls get the best first sex that they deserve, unlike Mercy's traumatic first time.

It was hard to like Mercy as a character at first because I was obviously appalled by what she was doing, whether it was being kept secret or not. As the story went on though I was intrigued by her personality, her ambitions, and her belief that she was really helping these couples. What she does is not okay but in a way it is her coping mechanism and she needs to be able to feel in control of her self in every situation. Obviously sh*t hits the fan because she is a teen in high school and when doesn't someone's secrets get blasted on the internet for all to see?

I like Mercy's commitment to her education and her love of science. I can be sympathetic towards Mercy because trauma of any kind can damage someone enough to do a number of unhealthy things. I can also, to some extent, empathize with her need for control and to compartmentalize her life. The level to which she takes these things are a bit extreme but everyone copes in their own way.

My favorite characters are Zach and Faye, they are both funny and complex characters. I like that Zach and Faye are there for Mercy through thick and thin but that they, especially Zach, struggle to come to terms with the direction Mercy's life has taken. In some ways I feel that Zach deserves better than Mercy (about 70% of the time) but I also think that is shows great strength of character for both Zach and Mercy that they can overcome their odds. The chemistry scene and the spaghetti scene had me all *heart eyes emoji* (this is vague enough to not need a spoiler warning I think).

I enjoyed the writing and the drama of the story and it touches on so many topics that surround teenage sex and high school politics.

Interesting quote:

"Virginity is supposed to be something a girl gives up only when she is ready and feels comfortable, something a girl discusses at length with her friends and flip-flops over a million times in her mind before actually doing it. A guy is expected to be born ready."
^ This kind of sets the tone for the whole novel.