Not sure how to rate this one. It's extremely trigger-heavy. Lots of trauma, the repurcussions of said trauma, and healing from said trauma. That said, I think it was kind of... boring? Leta Blake seems to put a lot of thought into her characters and the story she wants to tell. But I think she gets too hung up on the sex aspects of her stories. And the writing was a little clunky at times.

This was an established relationship story, which isn't usually my go-to. I wish we got a little more backstory on Wade and Russ. I totally see and believe why Wade would love Russ. But I don't get why Russ would love Wade. I feel like there wasn't enough context for pre-LA Wade and Russ to make me understand. We only really get to see Russ react to a traumitized Wade, to care and love him as he is now. But I don't know why Wade was worth sticking around for other than Russ being a good person.

Since I was feeling really hesitant to continue with this story, I broke down and read a couple of the reviews in detail.

This is 100% the reader and not the book.

At 36% I'm going to dnf this one because I can't handle the emotions that the story invokes.

Amazing read.

Wow, this was a tough story to read. Heart breaking and healing, it was a story of love winning through. Beautifully written with great characters, it touched me deeply.

I read this series years ago, back when my GR account was just for scouring recs.
I have decided to write a review for these two books in the series which is really hard because they are such intense books. They are undoubtedly Leta's best work to date.


#OldButGold

****SPOILER FREE REVIEW****
*****HIGHLY RECOMMENDED COMING OF AGE*****

For Fans of... #Bisexuals #ComingOfAge #SuperSteamy #Closeted

Before getting these books beware.... the series is not done. these are 2 books out of 4. The rest of the books have NO ETA!

Why read these books....

1. The Writing:
Phenomenal, Stellar, Engaging, Poignant, Real, Enchanting, Epic, Engrossing, Outstanding ... and I could go on and on. #OneOfAkind

2. The Characters:
Peter Mendel: 18 years old, high-school senior, gay and geeky with a passion for photography. he was bullied and out down for being gay. He is a phenomenal character. #WallFlower


Adam Algedi: Transfer Student, tall, gorgeous and an aspiring writer, He is bisexual and physically abused by his father for being attracted to boys. #HideInPlainSight


Daniel: College student and an amazing, admirable, real character . He and Peter are attracted to each other from the get go, but DO NOT pursue a relationship. #JustFriends


3. The Plot:
Revolves around Peter finding himself and building his out, proud, honest truthful life. it is also about his and Adam's relationship. A relationship built around lies, deception, selfishness, guilt and cheating, SO MUCH CHEATING! heartache and so much more. This book will make you rage, cry, curse and rage some more. #BraceYourselves

4. The Romance:
The books are not classified as a romance, but they have romantic elements. The boys do love each other, however differently. keep in mind that the three boys ARE NOT IN A LOVE TRIANGLE. #InMyOwnWay

5. The Heat:
These books were super steamy. the boys are teenagers... true.... but they have a healthy sexual drive and their sex is fueled by many feelings. #BurnUpThePages

6. The Ending...
After book 2, it is a Tentative HFN. #MoreToComeMoreToCome

Note: AIDS is very present in the books in relation to the setting of the book, though the MCs are negative.
#HappyReading

I think people who read this book and thought it was too heavy on the sexual aspect of Wade and Russ's relationship did not get the point of the book. The author is very upfront that it is about surviving, confronting, and gaining power over intense trauma.

The healing from sexual trauma understandably revolves around sex, at least in this instance. For Wade, empowerment of his life, his friendships, his career, all have to start with sexual empowerment. That is the very crux of reclaiming his identity.

Wade needs to navigate each part of his life like a ladder. When before he could engage in all areas of life simultaneously, now he needs to work on each area seperately and feel proficient in it before having the confidence to expand another area.

So, yes, this story is about sexual reclamation. That is the foundation for the characters to establish fulfilling, healing lives.

It is also about reshaping trauma to eliminate its power. About 70% through, the title suddenly clicked. Wade slowly comes to terms with wanting to experience pain with Russ to replace him in the memories of his torture. The Difference Between is that he can trust Russ; that he is safe and loved and in control where before he had no control over whether he hurt, how much, or even if he would live through it.

Such a nuanced understanding of how kink and CNC can aid in recovery. I am not surprised with the author's background in psychology

I saw the first three books offered for review at GRR and I hesitated – could I cope with a cliffhanger like that? Was it worth it?

Having read book 1, then I can categorically say that to me, the wait will be worth it. I decided to review each book that I have (books #1 – 3) after I had read them as that seemed the most fair. So this review only covers book 1 and I have waited to read book 2 so that it doesn’t influence things.

Peter Mandel is gay. It’s the 90s, AIDS has struck down many in the gay community, and in the small Southern town in which he has grown up, being gay is something that gets you beaten up – or worse.

I really enjoyed this story. Told entirely from Peter’s perspective, it’s an extremely insightful slice of life. Peter isn’t the popular kid, the jock or anything like that – he’s a loner who takes photographs, tries to avoid being noticed, and has changed schools due to bullying. He meets Adam at orientation and there begins a transformative experience that forces Peter to learn a lot about himself, about rights and wrongs, how it feels to be on both sides of the equation and life in general. Amidst all of that, he’s trying to pass his senior year and hide a huge aspect of his personality from practically everyone.

There were elements of this book I hated, some that made me cry (growing up in the 80s/90s, I kinda know some of the experiences that Peter had but from the race perspective and the writing brought some of that back), but many elements that made me think and feel happy. And that is perhaps the best way of describing this book – it makes you live in Peter’s shoes and feel what he’s feeling. The confusion, the frustration, the hurt and the joy – it all comes through from the page.

Although it’s a ‘cliffhanger’ the ending felt appropriate as it represented the end of a period in Peter’s life and being on the cusp of something new and different. I closed the book and sat and ruminated on many aspects of it, allowing myself to soak in what I had learned about and from Peter before considering opening book 2. I think it’s going to be a difficult thing to wait for book 4, but in the meantime, I have books 2 and 3 to keep me going.

A solid 4.5 from me. I received an ARC from GRR.

The first time I read this, I was hurting with Peter. I can't imagine centuries of gay people living like this. So sad! But it being the nineties made me more angry with Adam.
The narration is marvelous.