I was on the edge reading this book because I knew Mercedes' secret was going to come out; it was just a matter of time. When you sleep with ad man boys as she does, no matter how much she tried to justify her actions, someone is gonna tell.

I was and wasn't surprised who.

This book managed to make Mercedes a sympathetic character even though she isn't. It's difficult reading about someone deliberately messing up their life. The reasons why come out later in the story. Does that make everything OK? No, but it adds a layer of depth to an interesting voice in YA lit.

Ok so I truly did not expect to like this book as much as I did. I thought "Gosh I just can't read about cheating boys and a tramp of a girl". I kept putting off reading this book because of that thought stuck in my head. Then I read a few reviews and said to heck with it, so I started it. Well needless to say I LOVED IT!!! Here is why:

Mercedes was a smart girl with all good intentions but seriously at 17 do we really know what good intentions are? I know we thought we did and probably tried to have them but did we really know? Anyway, this girl was a bit broken in ways that no one she was close to knew about. Surprise surprise!! Broken girl = broken actions but really there is soooooo much more to Mercedes. She super intelligent, she's a great friend, talented in many ways young girls probably shouldn't be, and she will go to bat for those she loves even if it breaks her more. I really loved this girl because of her intentions and that she went through some hard things but still pushed forward.

Mercedes had some really great friends like Zach the guy that always stood by her side no matter what, Faye the new girl that knew how Mercedes felt although she didn't know her long and became a fast reliable friend, and Angela her best friend that although she was a little prudish, she still overcame things that made her stronger and a better best friend.

In our lives as teens it is so hard to make the right decisions and move forward like an adult. At times we were hurtful, bullying, insensitive, and just so brash but what we made of ourselves is what matters in the end. Go back right wrongs, and learn to be a better person. That is the true lessen I got from this book and growing up myself.

Never judge a book by it's cover and only it's synopsis ;)
Thank you so much Laurie for writing such a lesson learning book.

I try to read YA to know about people of my age range across the Atlantic, because we, the Indian subcontinental people are known well for their conservation regarding intercourse.
Firsts, as Laurie Elizabeth Flynn's first novel, has succeedingly imprinted on my mind. I could feel Mercedes Ayres, I could feel Zach, I could feel Faye, I could feel Angela. I could relate to them. All the way back from here.
Mercedes' backstory made me stare at the screen- how strange life is. And lets be honest, we all want a Zach in life. Well, maybe a friend like Faye too.
Cannot wait for her second novel.

From my blog maria-literata:

Oh Mercy.

Mercedes Ayres means well. But for a seventeen year old who has her fair share of troubles and secrets, the meaning of 'meaning well' might be more than slightly skewed.

And that's exactly what I enjoyed about Flynn's debut novel. The characters in Firsts are naïve, resentful, emotional, sexual, contradicting, flawed, and about a dozen other things; in other words, they're humans, and more specifically, teenagers. (And I feel like I just used my comma quota for my review with that sentence lol).

Mercedes' extra-curricular devirginizing activity is definitely strange but it's her own, it's something that gives her power and keeps her afloat. One of the aspects that I think makes her a strong character is how carefully she crafts her image to the outside world. Others only see what she wants them to see and I think that's really powerful for a teenage girl. And even though I have an almost non existent interest for chemistry, I really enjoyed Mercedes' love for it. It's a theme that I felt really bloomed in the novel and went well with her journey.

I definitely think that one more draft of this novel would have made it unforgettable. It's definitely a great debut for Flynn, there's no doubt about that; but I would have liked to know more about (possible spoiler alert) Mercedes' relationship with her father, her friendship with Angela, and her MIT aspirations (end possible spoilers). It's the little snippets inserted here and there that would have made a world of a difference.

Nonetheless, I devoured about 75% of the book after a lazy start (mostly on my part) and I would look forward to seeing a film adaptation one day.

Memorable Quote
My hands start to shake uncontrollably. The sound of my own heartbeat is everywhere, the sound track to my failure. Thump, thump. Coward. Weakling. Thump, thump. Victim. Liar. I told myself that nobody would ever control me, not after Luke. But here I am, in a heap on the floor all over again. Nothing has changed. I haven’t changed.

"Always lift your chin up high when you did something wrong. Because you might know you did something wrong, but no one else has to. "
See reviews first on my Blog





Mercedes is a young woman who has taken it upon herself to help the virgins in her high school. She things she is doing them a favor and that she has total control of the situation. And she does until everything starts going horribly wrong and her life starts falling apart around her. Despite what she was doing though for some reason I still felt for her as a character. Sure she was problematic and could have dealt with things better, but we all could. I'm not saying she isn't to blame though and what she did was wrong, but the other people involved also had a choice and she shouldn't have been the only one blamed.

This book is hard for me to rate for multiple reasons.
I found this book hard to read most of the time, but I also couldn't stop reading. I needed to know why she was doing this. Why she thought she was helping and what happened to make her need this type of control.

The reason why she does this is heartbreaking because no one should have to deal with what she did especially at such a young age all alone. She did a very grown up thing and took matters into her own hands and dealt with the fallout from it. Her way of coping with it though wasn't a good way and ended up causing her and many other people pain. But it wasn't just her fault and she shouldn't have been the only one blamed. It takes two to tango and the other people need to be in trouble as well and I hope they do.

"Don't let them off the hook so easily. They were coming to you. It takes two to have sex. So don't defend them."
As for her friends Faye, Zack and Angela I'm glad she has them. They were all very believable characters and were good friends to her and there when she needed them.

"I want to be Faye. I want to be fearless like her, bold like her. I want to figure out a way to be unapologetically myself, just like she has."

While this book wasn't easy to read it is important to read it. Because it deals with high school and sex in a very real way.

"All this time I thought I was in control, keeping the upper hand for myself, calling the shots, playing by my rules. But I haven't been , not really. Because I had the chance to fight back and I froze."

There we're some things that bothered me though: the fact that someone was videotaped having sex and the police never got involved, and child neglect. Not to mention rape and than attempted rape. Plus when Mercedes was telling a guy to just take control and not ask before sex also kind of bothered me. She should have given more instruction on that or just not mention it at all.

"It's funny how giving up control can actually end up putting things back into place. But that's what I'm learning, that too much of something ends up yielding the opposite reaction. It's a logic that has taken me the longest time to figure out but the shortest time to mend. And in two weeks my life goes from complete shambles to something resembling almost normal."

This book was provided for free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Mercedes Aryes has a secret: a secret that has helped several teenage boys out. She provides a special service to take their virginity and teach them how to please their girlfriends. But of course things spiral out of control for Mercedes the deeper she gets involved.

Let me start by saying that I hate YA books that glorify promiscuity and every teen has a thousand sexual relationships. Maybe I'm just a prude, but I certainly wasn't sleeping around in high school, or in adulthood for that matter. And if you are sleeping around with 15+ guys, did you really think word would never get out? Honey, high school doesn't work that way. And the whole business with what happened to her when she 13 (no spoilers, I promise) made me roll my eyes. Let's just add to the drama, why don't we? I understand that no girl should be bullied about her sex life, that it's her business, but things were definitely overdramatic. Who even does that?

I liked this book a lot.
It was a different plot and i know most people does not like Mercedes but i enjoyed her chracter. It felt real. How she handles herself or her lies.
Of course there were some unbelievable points and ofc there were things that got wrapped so or put under the rug neatly (rolls eyes) but overall i enjoyed it a lot.
I felt like the writer was not sure how to handle the relationship at some points or she was trying for a loop but shyed away at the last minute but still writing was pretty good and i enjoyed the story.

I had high expectations for this novel going into it and I, surprisingly, was not disappointed. It was slightly problematic at times mostly cause the mc was problematic but it was overall an enjoyable read.

In most reviews people talk about how Mercedes is an unlikable character because she was made to be an unlikable character, but if I'm being honest (and I am) I actually kinda liked her. She was a brat at times especially towards the people who showed her any type of concern, but she was just trying to protect herself and honestly I felt like I related to her a lot more than I thought I would. Something traumatic happened to her at a young age when she hadn't even figured out who she was in the world yet and it screwed her up to the point where she didn't think she could be fixed and was ultimately destructive towards herself in order to be in control of something. She had so many supportive people in this novel that she got through it and it made me all warm and fuzzy on the inside :')

The supporting characters were good. I had my doubts about Faye throughout the novel, but I think she was my favorite. She was strong and supportive and was a great friend for Mercedes. Also the fact that she was like "idgaf who you sleep with you're still a good person to me and you had your reasons so I'm not gonna judge you" and I LOVED that about her. I'm so glad she didn't end up being the frenemy I thought she was gonna be. Then there's Angela who, I felt, didn't have as strong of a character as everyone else but was necessary because she shows that waiting is just as okay as being sexually active. I also liked Zach, although I didn't exactly fall in love with him cause I feel as we didn't really get enough of him but he was sweet and thoughtful and stuck around even when he was angry with her.

This book is definitely a book aimed towards the more mature side of YA. It's not exactly graphic, but it's definitely more graphic than most YA sex scenes. Also it faces issues such as slut shaming and different forms of rape. I think what I really liked about it though is the fact that it takes a look at a different type of rape. It's more than being forced on by a stranger at a party. It can also be by someone you care about that you're afraid of losing because they say "if you don't do this for me then you don't care about me" and the person is guilted into it and not many people in those situations see it as rape. I like how this novel shows that there's nothing right with a situation like that.

It's definitely a hit or miss novel. You're either gonna hate it or love it and I loved it. I think people should definitely give this a try and I hope to read more novels like it.

Find more reviews at Lost In Wonderland

Firsts is a difficult novel to review. While I went into this expecting something light (think along the lines of Easy A with Emma Stone), it actually presented some hard to swallow topics. The writing itself was god enough to keep me reading, and the story was ‘entertaining’ for lack of a better word.

The idea of the book seemed a little far-fetched when I first read the synopsis, but the more I read the more I could see how a young person may get themselves into this type of situation. I’m not saying that it’s a common occurrence in today’s youth (although what the hell do I know, really) but I feel that many teens, male and female develop warped views of sex and sexuality.

"Virginity is supposed to be something a girl gives up only when she is ready and feels comfortable, something a girl discusses at length with her friends and flip-flops over a million times in her mind before actually doing it. A guy is expected to be born ready."
- Laurie Elizabeth Flynn (Firsts)

Now Mercedes, didn’t exactly go about things the right way. The issue I have with what she did, is not that she was having sex (or even the fact that she was doing it with other people’s boyfriends- although I highly frown upon that), I mean at least she was practicing safe sex…right? The problem in question is that she only thought she was doing it for herself, when really it was an escape, just like alcoholics use booze in attempt to gain control over an aspect of their life, Mercedes used sex. The truth is, she really had no control over it, and she was doing it for all the wrong reasons despite telling herself differently. Add to the fact that teen boys can’t keep their mouth shut after they get laid and you have a whole range of problems ahead.

“The doorbell rings and I sink into a heap on the carpet. With any luck, whoever is down there will just go away. But I’m just starting to think nothing goes away, no matter how deep you try to bury it.”

- Laurie Elizabeth Flynn (Firsts)

In contrast to the heavy topic and the drama inevitably surrounding Mercedes once the shit hit the fan (because obviously it’s going to… no spoiler here), some really important themes around friendship and relationships are presented. Not just romantic relationships either, Mercedes and her mum’s tumultuous relationship plays an important part in many of Mercedes decisions, along with her lack of a father figure.

Overall, this is an eye opening book. In a way it teaches us to be responsible for our own happiness, and that seeking solace through other means rather than facing the real issue is the equivalent to putting a band aid on a severed limb.

Finished "Firsts" earlier today. A very complex story about sex and morality and oh boy oh boy was there a crap ton of character developement. I loved all of her friends-Angela, Faye and Zach were all very different but very likable all the same. A lot of reviews of this book mentioned a hatred for the main character Mercedes, but I didn't hate her at all. Despite her selfishness and questionability, I thought Flynn did a good job of writing her, and I was understanding of her actions and behavior, as frustrating as they were. She thought she was helping people, and thought she was helping herself. And she grew a lot towards the end, although it did seem to come a bit rushed. But overall, a very insightful and original read. Sex isn't necessarily a topic that's addressed a lot in YA fiction, and I'm impressed with Flynn's unflinching portrayal of it, as well as her brief touch on abortion and sexual assault. And yes, there's a nice little romance too, although it's very complicated. Can't wait to read more from her!!