I started my review and then I lost it when my computer shut down on me. So hopefully this is just as good as the first one.

Okay, I was recommended this book by an author and decided that now that I read their book I would read something they recommended. I knew the basic premise of the book but was still taken aback at the boldness of it. Mercy invites virgins into her bed so that she can help these boys give their girlfriends the best, most romantic first time. That's right, these boys are in happy relationships all except the fact that they are scared witless about their first time. Mercy treats this like a service, one in which she is helping the girls get the best first sex that they deserve, unlike Mercy's traumatic first time.

It was hard to like Mercy as a character at first because I was obviously appalled by what she was doing, whether it was being kept secret or not. As the story went on though I was intrigued by her personality, her ambitions, and her belief that she was really helping these couples. What she does is not okay but in a way it is her coping mechanism and she needs to be able to feel in control of her self in every situation. Obviously sh*t hits the fan because she is a teen in high school and when doesn't someone's secrets get blasted on the internet for all to see?

I like Mercy's commitment to her education and her love of science. I can be sympathetic towards Mercy because trauma of any kind can damage someone enough to do a number of unhealthy things. I can also, to some extent, empathize with her need for control and to compartmentalize her life. The level to which she takes these things are a bit extreme but everyone copes in their own way.

My favorite characters are Zach and Faye, they are both funny and complex characters. I like that Zach and Faye are there for Mercy through thick and thin but that they, especially Zach, struggle to come to terms with the direction Mercy's life has taken. In some ways I feel that Zach deserves better than Mercy (about 70% of the time) but I also think that is shows great strength of character for both Zach and Mercy that they can overcome their odds. The chemistry scene and the spaghetti scene had me all *heart eyes emoji* (this is vague enough to not need a spoiler warning I think).

I enjoyed the writing and the drama of the story and it touches on so many topics that surround teenage sex and high school politics.

Interesting quote:

"Virginity is supposed to be something a girl gives up only when she is ready and feels comfortable, something a girl discusses at length with her friends and flip-flops over a million times in her mind before actually doing it. A guy is expected to be born ready."
^ This kind of sets the tone for the whole novel.

It was a great read but it got unexpectedly dark. I wish more serious repercussions were demonstrated in this novel. While Mercy is a strong female character, some of the male characters did not face any serious consequences for their damaging actions. This may demonstrate the double standards of sexuality between genders but some of the things went beyond the scope of simply being forgotten. I felt that issues of safety and harassment were treated a pit too lightly. With that aside, there character development and the progression of the storyline was great.

Really 3.5 stars. A serious drama with an Easy A type plot. Emotional but had a few over the top 'what the?' moments. It didn't resolve some of main character's biggest issues, but that's okay. Definitely for an older teen audience.

Firsts is a complicated book that deals with some taboo subjects and it will not be a book for everyone, but it's one that you won't forget easily after you finish reading it.

Full review to come closer to release date.

4.5 stars.

What an interesting book! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. It was from the perspective of the Mercedes, who decides to sleep with other girls' boyfriends in order for them to have a better first time than she did. Mercedes' plan obviously is going to raise some eyebrows and her justifications were interesting (for lack of a better term). This book doesn't just deal with cheating, and there are mentions of rape, so for anyone that may be uncomfortable, I would say be cautious.

Mercedes is an interesting character, and though at points, I did get frustrated with her, I also felt for her. Her mom is absent all the time and doesn't seem to care about Mercy. As someone with a loving and attentive mom, I don't know what I would do if she was like Kim, Mercy's mom.

One thing I loved was the friendships in this book. It takes a little while for it to develop, but I really loved what Faye did for Mercy at the end. I also really liked Mercy's relationship with Angela, who's very religious. As well, this book talks about the double standards girls face, when they are sexually active, which I really liked.

Overall, this was a pretty good debut. The one thing that brought the rating down, was Mercedes constantly dismissing Zach. But, I enjoyed the characters, their relationships and reading Mercy's story.

Lacks moral compass but a very well written book.

Received a copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

FIRSTS by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn is an emotional & extremely compelling story of a teenage girl who has suffered a horrific sexual trauma and finds her way out of some of the deepest, darkest depths of depression and self-destruction. This is an incredibly hard story to tell and I applaud the author for taking such a no-nonsense approach to the subject matter. She told it with brutal honesty, humor, and grace. An excellent read.

I think I’m going to give this book 2.5 stars- mainly because I somewhat enjoyed the first half of it, but I skimmed most of the second half before I finally gave up.
I want to start off by saying, as a high school senior myself, I actually found Mercedes extremely unrelatable. I have hardly been in a real relationship thus far, much less have substantial experience with a boy; however Mercedes has slept with 15+ guys just in high school. I found her character intriguing, though, which is why I wanted to pick this book up in the first place, but my opinion of her changed pretty quickly in the story.
She has a male friend named Zach (the only character I liked) who proves to be a loyal companion and dreams of being Mercedes’ boyfriend. But for whatever reason, Mercy never gives him the chance and continues to push him away. Instead, she has a service in which she has sex with random boys for not only the sake of her own pleasure, but also the feeling that she is “giving back” to her peers by sleeping with virgin boys in relationships so that they can give their actual girlfriends a good first time.
As I got to know Mercy better throughout the story, I wanted to sympathize for her, but I couldn’t. She does have a shitty life with a careless mother and an absent father, but she still has a nice car, a luxurious house, plenty of food and nice clothing, and some good friends. You cannot let one bad aspect of your life alter how you perceive everything else- including your personal being. Mercy represents a teenage girl who lets random boys degrade her and lower her self-esteem by carelessly sharing intimate moments with boys she doesn’t even know. Instead, she should be putting in more of an effort to prepare for the nice college she hopes to attend and build a better future. I can’t feel bad for her because she ultimately refuses to help herself. And for that, I was not a fan of Firsts.

3.75 stars
It was an interesting premise and decently executed. Though when Mercy was having trouble, I was getting erked that she wouldn't go to anyone and just decided to keep it all bottled up. She didn't even share with Angela, who was suppose to be her best friend. I did not come across that this was Mercy's closest friendship until it was put in danger because of

Spoiler

Charlie

.
I mean I guess it's understandable to why she keeps everyone at a distance because of what happened to her when she was younger.
But basically her reasoning to why she was only sleeping with virgins was a way to over-correct that trauma that happened to her. So she thought she was helping these girls by preparing their boyfriends because

Spoiler

her older boyfriend, Luke,

did not.
Though she was letting her system slip by like Chapter 10. I mean if a guy asks to blindfold you isn't obvious that he's not a virgin?
Anyways...
And Zach was just so understanding. #goals

I feel like this is a difficult book.

See, it's a great book. It's sex positive book, written for teenagers that doesn't shame the decisions to have sex, but doesn't demonize the decision to abstain either. And mostly, I actually enjoyed this book.

But this book is comparable to a train wreck. Mercedes is a really hard character to sympathize with. And I'm still not sure if we're supposed to. It's one thing to have a character who enjoys sex and has sex with multiple guys. It's a whole other thing to have a character who has sex with multiple guys knowing that they girlfriends.

There's really nothing more to say. It's one of those books that takes a really good step towards acceptance. I liked it. I'm not sure I'll have an urge to read it again. But Zach was hella cute, and Faye was such an interesting character. So you never know...