Every time I read a new story by Suki Fleet, it ends up on my favorites shelf. And if I had to pick one as my all time favorite, I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to just one. This is Not a Love Story, Sometimes There’s Stars and Foxes have always been the top contenders for the top spot and I now add The Happiness Project to the uppermost tier of SF love.

The reason I read queer stories almost exclusively is because I want to feel seen and heard and understood and damn if I didn’t feel all those things and more reading The Happiness Project. Fleet thoughtfully and beautifully explores the complexities and confusion that can sometimes come with being on the ace spectrum, questioning one’s gender identity, and/or how we define and understand our sexual orientation. Being lesbian-leaning/bi/pan/??? and also somewhere on the ace spectrum/gray ace/demi/??? myself, I have never before read a story that comes as close to expressing how I feel as this one does. Which isn’t to say that my experiences mirror either Alexei or Bruno’s exactly, but Alexei’s questioning, the ‘What do I feel? And what do I want? And how do I explore it?' resonated profoundly. Even at 56, I’m still trying to figure it out and my sexual identity is still evolving. Fleet does a masterful job of putting really confusing emotions and questioning into words in a way that lit me up inside and made me feel seen in a way I’ve never felt before. As I read, I just kept thinking, “This!” and “Yes!” and “Oh, oh, oh! This too!”

Beyond those aspects of the story that made it very personal for me, The Happiness Project is a deeply moving and lovely story in so many other ways. Fleet incorporates neurodiversity, poverty and being failed by social systems in equally compelling, thoughtful and compassionate ways, shining light into the dark and quite literally delivering messages of hope and love, acceptance and support in unexpected and magical ways. Alexei and Bruno’s families, both biological and chosen, add so much warmth and depth and love to this moving story; Gregor is one of my favorite characters ever and I am SO excited that he’ll be getting his own story as well.

KU but as a favorite, this one is added to my permanent collection both in ebook and hard copy.

5 heartfelt stars

I read this after reading Half-Drawn Boy, and this is a "prequel" that shows the origin of Gregor's parents. I like the whole cross-generational aspect, and a lot of scenes were actually enhanced by this unusual reading order. For example, I like the whole imaginary sea related prose that stretched across both books.

Bruno and Alexei are very interesting characters with a very unique journey. Despite the long and flowery prose, their romance was very lovely and believable. The world and the characters seem built up, and of course I love the long, detailed paragraphs of pure emotion. It may be a bit slow, but it's worth it in the end. However, it's a bit odd that both characters try to out self-deprecate each other. I guess it makes sense given their circumstances.

Now for the two things I didn't like at all. These are the main reasons I have this book at 4 stars instead of 5. Here goes:

Spoiler

The first thing was the kind of weird, goofy supernatural explanation. I think Eddy's a fine character, but I really think the mystery should've been kept rather than having some goofy ghost house shenanigans that barely fit with the rest of the story. It just messes with the very grounded, realistic tone of the rest of the book and feels mostly like a shocking twist. I think it would've been a lot cooler if the mystery was never fully explained, maybe we never see George in person or something.

Spoiler

Then there's the sex scenes. God, these miserable sex scenes that add literally nothing to the story besides some cheap erotica. I feel like Suki Fleet is forced by some higher power to include these, because it doesn't fit in this story. It's so unbelievably unnatural, and the dialogue being stereotypically British doesn't help in taking it seriously. And of course, Alexei being asexual just makes it all so weird. I get that asexual people are still physically allowed to have sex, but it doesn't make sense at all here. Another weird thing is that Alexei is characterized as bossy (which doesn't fit with the whole self-deprecating thing) but it's seemingly only to make this sex scene more titillating. There are better ways of indicating deep, emotional love without resorting to sex, and there were especially better ways to handle it for this book.

I didn't even realise I read the sequel first.

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These people are too young for me to relate. I think I’ve outgrown puppy love stories.