I am happy to discover Melanie Hansen. This was a really satisfactory read. This story has trauma, sadness and some really gut wrenching moments but it also has triumph over these moments, lasting love and beautiful friendships.

There is some really detailed, hot sex in this book but it doesn't feel gratuitous although there is a point where I felt it went on for too long.

I was not happy with how everyone treated Jayden, he may have been a needy groupie but they treated him like a pest even if Jase is the one who encouraged him to keep coming back, that was also the one thing I didn't like about Jase, he used Jayden without remorse even when he was aware that the groupie was falling for him.

Although I totally loved Casey, he annoyed me a bit at the end because of how long he pushed his decision making.

Overall this is a lovely story and I could barely put it down I am really hopeful about the others in the series.

Cuz Julie and Els said hotness...were they right?

But this was no ball of fluffy porn...no, this book hurt...
I keep starting this review then deleting and starting over.
I really loved this book. It was emotional and sweet and hot and if it hadn't been for that stuff at the end, I would have given it five stars. It was just poorly done, I felt. Kind of a cliched and frustrating way to add a little drama or something, I did not appreciate it at all. But I would really recommend it.
Jase broke my damn heart so many times, I just wanted to cuddle him. Carey had some moments too. They were both just...gah!
"I'm worthless, Jase."
And that was it, the crux of the problem, Carey's deepest fear. he was worthless, a burden on the system like he'd been most of his life, passed around, unwanted. The Marines had given him and identity, a way to feel worthy, serving his country during the War on Terror and helping to kick some insurgent ass. Now that was gone and he'd never get it back. He had nothing.
Jase pulled back, gripping Carey's chin and forcing it around, making Carey meet his eyes.
"You're worth something to me."

There are some good side characters and plenty-o-hotness!!!
"I want to feel you come. All. Fucking. Over. Me!"


But I'll be honest, there were just a few things that bothered me. Not huge things, and really I know that not every character is gonna act the way I want them to all the time, but the ending did kind of bum me out a bit, I mean, the ending right before the end...ya know? Not the very end--fuck it , wanna know if there is an HEA?

Spoiler

Yes!

Thanks Julie and Els for the rec! Really enjoyed reading it! Will be looking for more from this author.

4.25 stars

Just as amazing the second time around. I absolutely love this couple. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

****

So it has been a while but I finally had a one on one BR with my girl Elsbeth...and boy did she pick a good one.

This was just my kind of book (and I went in essentially blind which made it all the better). Gaaahhh...I am still on high and actually may have to reread a handful of scenes today before moving on to something else.

This is a friends to lovers story.  A story about two Veterans, one of whom lost his leg in Afghanistan. I could go on and on with descriptions of this book...but honestly you need to just read it yourself. *insert gif here* It's hot, it's touching, it's beautiful. And while there is a slight touch of angst at the end...I got it..I understood. These two were just...just...

 

And what I loved most was the desire not to label this relationship as anything more than two people who love each other. 

“See, here’s the thing, Carey. I’ve had sex with men, I’ve had sex with women. I’ve never felt like this about a man before either, so do I call myself gay because I’ve fallen in love with you? I feel this way about you because you’re… you. Not because of the parts you have. It’s just you, Carey. It’s everything about you. Why do we need to label that as something or other? Why can’t it just be Jase in love with Carey? Me in love with you?”

Yeah...stick a fork in me...I'm done.

My Carey and Jase

Status Updates:

5%
Loving the MCs so far but I keep thinking of Semper Fi.

20%
“What are you doing here, Jase?”
“I thought you might need me,” Jase said simply, and Carey felt his face crumple. In the next instant, Jase was on his knees next to Carey’s chair, and Carey fell forward into his friend’s comforting arms and wept.
*holds back tears*

42%
Gaaahhh...this is wonderful.

46%
“Well, I fucking do! You got this”—Jase smoothed his hand over Carey’s naked stump—“in service of our country. You were a hero that day, Carey.” Jase leaned down and trailed his lips gently over the scarred skin, his tongue caressing the ridges gently. “And there’s nothing about you, nothing, that I don’t find so fucking beautiful it hurts.”
❤️❤️

59%
I'm in so much trouble.

67%
In that cold, lonely predawn darkness, in the middle of the most hostile, dangerous territory on Earth, he let the hot tears slide silently down his cheeks. They were tears of relief he didn’t have to find a way to live in a world that didn’t have Carey in it; tears of regret he couldn’t have done more to spare Carey the pain and anguish he was surely experiencing right then; and tears of happiness, because in that moment, Jase realized he had fallen deeply, irrevocably in love with his best friend.

86%
You didn’t “lose” it, asshole. You chose to walk away from it. It was all yours for the taking, all yours.

Status Updates (Read #2):

5%
I had forgotten how much I truly loved this book. Plus this go around a visual for my veteran Carey...BT Urruela

Excuse me while I swoon over this for a few minutes. ❤️❤️❤️

18%
He heard Jase catch his breath next to him, and Carey glanced at him, surprised to see a very strange look on his face. Jase looked almost… hungry, and his eyes burned briefly with a strange emotion. Both looks were gone almost immediately, and it was just Jase again, smiling back at Carey, his eyes squinted against the sun.

20%
“What are you doing here, Jase?”
“I thought you might need me,” Jase said simply, and Carey felt his face crumple. In the next instant, Jase was on his knees next to Carey’s chair, and Carey fell forward into his friend’s comforting arms and wept.

26%
"I'm worthless, Jase." ...
“You’re worth something to me.”
Carey closed his eyes, a single tear squeezing out and tracking down his cheek. He felt Jase wipe it away with his thumb.
“And I wanted you to live because I didn’t want to see what it was like to live without you. I can’t imagine a world without you in it, Carey. Don’t you see, man? You’re not worthless, not to me. Never to me. You’re my best friend.” Jase patted his cheek. “Look at me.”
Phew. One of my favorite scenes in this book.

33%
Aaaaahhhhh...my absolute favorite club scene in any book I've read...the infamous lawn chair. My god...


40%
Jase’s fingers trembled as he reached out and slowly, gently, ran the tips over the network of scars that crisscrossed the skin of where Carey’s leg used to be. He bent his head low as if to see better, his fingers tracing the scars over and over.
“Oh, Carey.” Jase’s voice was hoarse, barely there. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”


45%
Carey was a little bemused at how looking at another man’s body was revving him up, but it was. It was just… Jase. Carey already knew how beautiful he was on the inside; now he knew how stunning he was on the outside too.

68%
Some of these war scenes I expected to see in my reread of Semper Fi...but they were actually in this book. :-(

71%
My poor Jase...description of war incident in spoiler.

Spoiler

Jase shut his eyes tightly, his mouth open in a silent scream of helpless anguish, tears running down his face as he listened to a brave, honorable man being butchered in one of the most awful ways Jase could think of, his head being sawed off by a machete.

**I received a free copy of this book to read and review for Wicked Reads.**

3.5 STARS

GFY friends-to-lovers

Carey was injured in the Marines. Jase was the medic to save him and then help him recover. They quickly became best friends. Jase always carrying an unrequited love for Carey, something he learned to just live with. When Carey visits Jase he starts to questioning feelings he has for Jase.

I started out invested in the characters. I enjoyed the military aspect but the friends to lovers seemed to drag a bit for me. I didn't feel the connection completely with the characters.

Read the full review on Bookaholics Not-So-Anonymous.

This was my first ever Melanie Hansen read and from the get-go, she had my attention. By the end of it, she had my devotion. I absolutely loved this friends to lovers story and fell in love with Jase and Carey. The length of their friendship may not be in the decades, but after what they went through while serving together--Jase being a Navy medic and Carey a Marine--the kinship and closeness they share is more than understandable. Jase is the kind of person you want by your side because you know that you don't even have to call upon him when you need him most; it's simply a given that he will be. The affection between the two is genuine, even when they were "just" friends, so when conflict strikes--as you expect it will--your heart squeezes for both men, although, I confess that I empathized more with Jase than I did Carey. If you've read the book, you'll know why. If you haven't read the book...well, hop to it already! Of course, I'm not saying Carey was a bad guy. No, he wasn't. Confused and in denial, yes, and I wasn't surprised he was.

There's quite a bit of internal conflict that goes on within both Carey and Jase, more so in Carey's case because he had always seen himself as heterosexual. Naturally, the sexual draw he was having towards Jase had him thinking it was nothing more than a phase, especially since Carey had never been attracted to another man prior to his best friend. I will admit that I was kind of surprised at how quickly and easily everything happened when the two decided to finally act on their attraction, but then, as the story went on, it turned out to be one of those things that felt more like them being stuck in a dream-like state or in their fantasies coming true, so that when reality struck or the real world came knocking, life wasn't so peachy anymore. And through it all, I must say that I really liked Jase's friends, especially Quinn and Layla Patterson, the drummer in and the manager of Eloquent Isolation, respectively, and how protective they were of Jase. Everything Changes was a great series starter and I highly recommend this five-star novel. ♥

Several things made this only an OK read. Firstly, I enjoyed the overall story but the flashback style really didn't work for me. I also felt that the writing itself was a little stiff. It was a struggle to get through the book and it was only my need to see these boys together that kept me reading. Some of the flashbacks were too fleshed out too and detracted from the story. They would have worked if written in order but yeah flashbacks so didn't work for me here.

Alors moi, j'ai eu un petit coup de cœur pour ce livre. J'avais déjà craqué pour la plume de Melanie Hansen dans [b:Point of Contact|36625948|Point of Contact|Melanie Hansen|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1516842773l/36625948._SY75_.jpg|58387768], et là, on peut dire en quelque sorte que l'essai est transformé !

Pour son premier roman, Melanie Hansen frappe fort ! Certes, elle réunit pêle-mêle tout un tas d'ingrédients et de tropes, mais le résultat final est loin d'être indigeste, à mon sens. Car bon, on a quand même un : (best) friends-to-lovers, un rockeur, deux ex-militaires, du stress post-traumatique ET un GFY ! Tout ça oui !!

L'histoire de ces deux hommes m'a chamboulée, leur romance est sexy et passionnée à souhait, même si, soyons honnête, on n'est pas dans un 'vrai' GFY. J'ai adoré voir la température monter entre Jase et Carey, et même si ça va très vite entre eux, on se dit qu'au final, ça fait quand même quatre ans qu'ils attendent de se sauter dessus ! Ils mettent vraiment le feu aux draps, et on peut dire qu'ils rattrapent le temps perdu, même s'il faut reconnaître que Carey gère (très) facilement ce changement dans sa vie sexuelle. Pour Jase, évidemment, c'est plus facile, même si on connaît très tôt dans le livre la profondeur de ses sentiments pour son meilleur ami.

N'ayant pas lu le résumé avant de me lancer dans le livre, je ne m'attendais pas à ce que l'un des héros souffre de PTSD, encore moins celui-là. Sa détresse lorsque les crises le frappent prennent aux tripes, il m'a vraiment fendu le cœur ! Le PTSD est vraiment un de mes tropes favoris et j'ai trouvé qu'il était ici très bien géré, exactement comme j'aime.

Melanie Hansen excelle dans la description des scènes de guerre, ici abondantes et sous forme de flashbacks. Elle décrit la guerre de manière très factuelle, c'est cru, c'est sanglant, c'est moche, et ça vous brise le cœur. Elle ne le fait pas pour glorifier la virilité des héros, ni pour bomber le torse et/ou mettre en avant la suprématie des Américains. Non, elle écrit ces scènes-là à la manière d'un documentaire, mais c'est poignant, et c'est avec une boule dans la gorge, le ventre tordu et les larmes aux yeux que j'ai lu ces passages-là.

Melanie Hansen 'ose' aussi écrire un roman avec un héros au physique hors-norme. Certes Carey est un mec canon, viril et musclé ... mais il est amputé, et l'auteur ne cache aucun détail à ce sujet. L'auteur dépeint très clairement la jambe incomplète de Carey, les douleurs, les cicatrices, les petites choses du quotidien comme les soins à apporter ou la fatigue liée à une station debout trop prolongée. J'ai été très touchée par l'attitude des deux hommes lors de leur première scène intime, là, mon petit cœur a fait des loopings, je l'avoue.

Vous l'aurez compris, j'ai adoré cette lecture, même si j'ai eu parfois envie de secouer et gifler Carey (bon OK, j'ai secoué mon kindle et braillé après Carey à un moment donné, mais ça a soulagé ma frustration !). Une très bonne lecture donc, et je me languis déjà du tome suivant

Wow, wow and wow. This book was exactly what I needed right now. It is real, gritty, and throws so much sexual tension your way that you don’t know what to do, and neither do these two! They are trying to figure out life, after war, as well as open their minds and hearts to a love they never thought possible.

Hansen has written a story that is emotional, both in and out of the relationship, and is just as much about healing as it is about finding the person you need, to help you heal. It is very rally in the storyline though, and filled with brilliant detail. This makes it so easy to drift into their story, and really feel as though you are right there with them, trying to fight to understand what to do next and how to trust love.

I loved every single page and whole-heartedly recommend this book!