Y'all aren't ready for this book, holy honk. I want to scream for so many reasons. The emotional roller coaster this had me on - one moment I'm laughing, the next I'm crying, the next I'm fueled by righteous rage. The fact that this is a debut novel had me absolutely floored, because it didn't feel like that for a second. Anyways, it's 1:30AM, so full RTC.

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This book is about broken and toxic friendships, the "not like other girls" moniker and all it's connotations, a girl disappearing, sexual assault (including rape, revenge porn, and more), and how those we love can let us down. Though these are all hard subjects to read about, Meredith Adamo makes it easy.

Jo is a firecracker of an MC. She's an outcast, at odds with her old friends, but doing the best she can with what she has. She's one of those characters you like from the start - her witty inner dialogue, her strong and distinct voice, her growth as she starts to better understand and reframed her narrative, everything about her draws you in from the start. She had true main character energy, to the point where it felt like other characters were trying to strip her of it and make her secondary to their story, and yet they never succeed.

Though Maddie goes missing, the story is really centered around Jo. We get to see Jo grow as a character, both through her inner narrative and her healthier relationship with friends, family, and Hudson. Despite the darker side of her story, I found her new friendships wholesome; the banter sweet, funny, and realistic; and her own voice a great way of adding levity to the whole situation. It's all done in a way that's tasteful, but I also laughed way more than expected.

At the end of the day though, I feel like I got sucker punched by this book. Some parts just felt like such a dose of reality, or felt so poignant, that I would literally gasp. There's one line especially (taken from the ARC, but if it's removed from the final copy, I will cry) where Jo asks someone, "When did I stop being a person to you?" I felt all the air leave my lungs cause oof. It makes more sense in context, but even on its own it packs a punch.

This book will make you laugh, cry, get mad, and scream in righteous fury, but you'll be glued to the pages throughout. Once I met Jo, I couldn't leave her story or her world. An absolutely amazing debut, Meredith Adamo is one to watch!

TW: rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual content, bullying, kidnapping, drug use, alcohol consumption, injury detail, violence, adult/minor relationship; mentions infidelity, death of a parent, death via car accident

ARC gifted by Bloomsbury US via BookInfluencerDotCom in exchange for an honest review. 

This gut-wrenching YA novel spotlights how teen girls are so often used, manipulated, exploited, and disregarded by society. Jo-Lynn Kirby is learning how to navigate her world after facing cruelty and rejection by her peers along with disappointment and dismissal by the adults in her world. Her confusion is exacerbated by the sudden disappearance of her former best friend. Did she run away, or did something bad happen to her? Jo refuses to follow the community in writing her off, which leads to a suspenseful mystery. But the real story is in how Jo-Lynn learns to accept responsibility for her own actions, and to place blame on those who have hurt and abused her. 

This book left me in beautiful agony. It's not the kind of pretty you see in a curated insta post. This book is raw and emotional, leaving me bleeding. It was an absolute heart-wrenching and transformative experience to envision how stories told by others and by ourselves can be twisted and contrived, manipulated into a new narrative that fits a box. Fills the gap. Eases others around us. But it is not our true story.

Books like these remind me why I love YA lit.

Jo deeply stressed me out at times, but I couldn't help but care and root for her (and deeply hate every adult in her life who failed her). This book had such a strong voice, and I haven't been so engrossed in a book in a long time. I wish I had this book in high school, and I'm so excited to add this book to my library's collection. I hope it finds someone who needs it.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC, and to Meredith for sharing this with the world.