I should have been born in the Netherlands! 🇳🇱 I loved the ideas behind their bicycling culture, schooling philosophy for children, and national emphasis on family connection.

I was fully onboard with this parenting style until I got to the part where Dutch children can’t behave well in restaurants. That’s a no for me. Seriously though, I love the idea of gentle parenting and putting aside parental anxiety to allow your child to learn independence. Definitely something I want to work on.

In this well-researched and readable book the two authors, expats from the US and England, share their perspectives on raising their children in Holland. There is a lot I like about Dutch parenting, especially the overall calmness and lack of competitiveness, the focus on the importance of play, and the independence given to children. Halfway through the book I felt like I had gotten the gist of Dutch parenting and that the text was becoming repetitive, so I did not read to the end.

I received an ARC from Netgalley.

This books had lots of helpful information, but it’s technically a dual-author memoir written as if it’s a parenting guidebook with research. For example, the author mentions how the Dutch keep meals fairly scheduled and then suggests that’s why the Dutch have a low rate of obesity. It’s a huge leap from two things that may be related to suggested one is the cause of the other. There’s dozens of examples like this, many of which are in direct opposition of what is considered the most up-to-date evidence or research based approach. The two cultures are different for so many reasons that the consistent apples to apples comparisons just don’t seem realistic. It would be fine if they just shared it as their own experience but both authors make their personal anecdotes seem like something everyone can just apply to their own life to solve their parenting problems. But there is a LOT of good, helpful information. I just really take issue with the style in which the book is delivered.

I’ve read other books that compare the US to other countries, and some of them were over the top. I’m not sure why it didn’t bother me this time. It did give a very rosy perspective on Dutch parenting without a lot of criticism and some stuff sounded inane.

But seriously, American parents need to relax. Perhaps because there was so much overlap with All Joy and No Fun, I found this reassuring. I wish I had read it when I had little babies and kids. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so alone on the competition field of motherhood.

An interesting book that made me smile a few times and definitely validated some of the things I've seen around me, but it does (already!) seem outdated.

As an American mom living in the Netherlands, I'm fascinated by the differences I see around me. My daughter isn't yet school age, so I'm interested to see what we might notice if she decides to participate in the school system here or in the US.

This isn't a parenting guide though. Rather, it's an interesting read on the cultural differences between the Netherlands and the US/UK which I enjoyed since it was directly applicable to my exact experience, but I get the feeling I'm rather in the minority.

An interesting read for American/British parents living in NL who enjoy being reminded they're not the only ones. But this is no "Bringing up Bébé" that helps you to apply parenting tactics outside the lovely lowlands.