This book is a tricky one to review.

While I fully subscribe to its core message (high sensitivity is a strength, not a flaw) and appreciate the way in which Moorjani normalizes the experience of being an empath, I was turned off by all the New Age-talk of auras and wheatgrass.

I’m not opposed to spirituality (far from it, actually) but it bothered me here. For the past few days, I’ve been trying to figure out why, and it finally hit me: high sensitivity already gets a bad rap. It’s a poorly understood concept, and there’s relatively little scientific research out there exploring it even though we know that it’s a real thing, both physical and mental. It’s wonderful and tricky at the same time, so more awareness and subsequent research would be beneficial.
Yet, by tying the experience of being an empath to “auras” and “manifesting,” I fear that high sensitivity is being launched straight back into the realm of “floaty” concepts that have no basis in reality, just when it’s so important society takes it seriously (especially considering the crises we face, globally, from climate change to polarisation). I found that very frustrating.

Additionally, I had real problems with her implicit message that our thoughts, or our “suggestibility” can cause cancer or other illnesses.

Granted, pervasive stress can cause illness. We know that. I don’t dispute that. I also believe that the mind has some effect on our health - but just how much, I don’t dare to say.
Moorjani, however, constantly implies that her own fears of cancer made her sick, which is just insane. It puts the blame for sickness on patients, which is very harmful.
I doubt this was her intention, but it is hard to come to a different conclusion based on everything she’s saying.

Similarly, her hinting at alternative medicine to treat severe illness is also dangerous. To be fair, she does mention at some point that she doesn’t want to discourage anyone from seeking medical treatment, but in the same chapter she goes on and on about finding a doctor that makes you feel good, medical or otherwise.

Here, as with other passages, I agree with the core idea (if you don’t trust your doctor, then that’s not conducive to getting better) but the way she says it leaves so much room for misinterpretation that I fear it might do more harm than good.

A similar victim-blaming tendency seems to be happening in the passage about a radio show. Moorjani mentions she was on air, discussing the importance of following your calling and saying no to things that drain you. Yes! I’m with her on that.
But then a woman calls in, sounding very stressed, saying her job is causing her severe anxiety. She asks Moorjani what to do.
Moorjani tells her to quit.
The woman says: I will lose my health insurance and won’t be able to pay my mortgage if I quit.
Moorjani tells her to do it anyway, or stress will make her sick.

That passage just felt so tone-deaf. Not everyone has the safety net to just quit their job and hope everything will work out for the best. The implication seems to be that if the woman doesn’t quit, she is not following her calling, and therefore of course she will get sick.
That is just so…wrong.

Again, I don’t think Moorjani intends to send these messages at all, but I can’t read these passages any other way.

Overall, then, I was mildly disappointed with this book because it slants towards New Age writing and overlooks the fact that there are real social and political obstacles obstructing people’s functioning as empaths. Rather than indirectly blaming them for the fact that they get ill, it would be more helpful to consider what can be done structurally to make space for empaths in society. Real space.

Was this book a total waste of time? No. As I mentioned at the beginning of this review, I do appreciate the way in which Moorjani shows the value of being an empath, and normalizes empath-experiences. I also like the way she highlights the (Buddhist) idea of interconnectedness and ties it to her own experiences. It’s nice to read about all the positive aspects of being an empath when sensitivity is still often seen as a negative trait. I appreciate all of that, very much.

Still, I’m holding out for a book that strikes more of a balance between spirituality and rationality, and between personal experience and structural solutions.

"... The focus is not supposed to be on avoiding illness, but on living life, on being passionate about life, immersing ourselves in living our lives fully."

"You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get better. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive. It is only in your thriving that you have anything to offer anyone."

"When I had my near death experience, it felt as though all filters just dissolved, and I saw myself for who I am."

This book is an interesting, and at times enlightening, examination of the experience of an empathetic individual in today's society. Moorjani's insights from her own life experiences give a new perspective on the impact that the structures of today's society has on individuals that are empathetic and the ways in which it eventually breaks them down. What was particularly insightful, was Moorjani's experienced examples of how this is done through individual relationships and societal norms around spirituality and the cult of helpfulness. I've already recommended this book to some friends and I'm sure I'll be recommending it to others in the future.

DNF Insightful until she encouraged new age practices to deal with your empathic/sensitive traits. No thanks.

I really loved the first 2/3rds of this book, and was rooting for a strong finish.

A look at how to navigate life as an empath or highly sensitive person. I had to read this with a very open mind as the author has some strange beliefs about auras and other realms, but it was interesting to read about her experiences. Although I don't identify as a full blown empath, I recognize the need for more books on the subject. Lots of focus on self care and self love which I approve of!