Of Wee Sweetie Mice and Men by Colin Bateman starts out in Belfast and quickly moves to New York City where Dan Starkey joins Fat Boy Bobby McMaster and team - his mission: to write a book about the European Heavyweight Champ from Northern Ireland taking on Mike Tyson at Madison Square Garden on St Patrick's Day.

What a novel! You want action and more action, hype and more hype, romance and more romance, you've come to the right place - Eros and Thanatos in full Irish bloom laced with signature Starkey humor.

I enjoyed Colin Bateman's Divorcing Jack (Dan Starkey #1) and I certainly enjoyed Of Wee Sweetie (Dan Starkey #2). What a wild ride. There's way too many twists and curves, swivels and zigzags as the story hits on nationalism, ethnic blending, racism, bigotry, religious extremism, terrorism (mostly Irish), beauty (mostly female) and the effects of booze and mass media for me to even begin to outline arc of plot. Thus, I'll shift to a highlight reel featuring a number of my favorite bits, as per -

Dan's Wife - Patricia and Dan have been married for seven years and now their relationship is in crisis. Patricia stays in Belfast when Dan goes to the Big Apple but Dan does something he's never done before - he writes Patricia a letter. A life changer.

Press Conference - Once their plane lands in New York, Dan attends a press conference with both Bobby McMaster and Mike Tyson. The press asks question; Bobby gives them answers that bring a scowl to many faces and a smile to Mike's. Turns out, in addition to being a boxer, Bobby might have made it as a stand-up comic. I read this chapter (and listened to the audio) multiple times - one of the true howlers in the book.



Irish Twist - Bobby McMater's team includes one Stanley Matchett who has spent much of his younger years slitting Catholic throats back in Belfast. Hey, if you want some protection, Stanley's the perfect guy. Dan isn't exactly thrilled having Matchett around and the exchanges between murderer and journalist can get a tad touchy.

Lovely Lauren - What's a trip to New York without a visit to a Times Square live sex show? Dan partakes and meets a young beauty - well, you'll have to read for yourself.



Thar She Blows! - Dan, Bobby and others from the Boxer's crew hire a boat (not in New York, a bit further to the north) to catch sight of whales. Surprise! A whale pushes itself into the plot and creates a dramatic turning point.

Northern Ireland - Although in the US, the fighting spirit of the Protestant versus Catholic country lives on. You can take the boys out of Belfast but you can't take Belfast out of the boys.

Hey, Colin! Thanks for another Dan Starkey novel. I'll be reading the next novel in the series, for sure.


Belfast's finest - Colin Bateman, born 1962

A novel with a title as cool as “Of Wee Sweetie Mice and Men” is just begging to be at least taken off of the shelf. If that catchy handle isn’t enough, the boxer throwing a jab on the cover, with a little mouse atop his glove, should certainly get your attention. If I hadn’t already been directed to this book by my friend, Glenn, that title and cover art would have gotten me to give this one a try.
Bateman grabbed a hold of me with the first paragraph.

“Peace had settled over the city like the skin on a rancid custard. Everybody wanted it, just not in that form. The forecast remained for rain, with widespread terrorism.”

Boy, Howdy! I think this was the most fun I’ve had with a book in all of 2021. I love boxing, comedy, and weird characters. This page-turning thrill ride is the crazy misadventures of unlikely, heavyweight contender, Fat Boy McMaster and his entourage preparing for a mismatch of a title shot with the champion, Mike Tyson. Fat Boy “can’t fight, he has the charisma of a bag of sugar and more in common with tripe than hype. He is the Great Fat Hope”.
Our motley crew welcome the chance to leave the atrocities of Northern Ireland behind for the more settled conditions of New York City. Ha! Right from the frying pan, and into the fire.

Special thanks to Glenn Russell for introducing me to Colin Bateman’s work.