*perfect* 💕
I’ve never read a book before that so perfectly illustrates the push-and-pull turmoil of motherhood and being a woman

Title: Sandwich
Author: Catherine Newman
Genre: Contemporary
Rating: 4.50
Pub Date: June 18, 2024

T H R E E • W O R D S

Relatable • Nostalgic • Messy

📖 S Y N O P S I S

For the past two decades, Rocky has looked forward to her family’s yearly escape to Cape Cod. Their humble beach-town rental has been the site of sweet memories, sunny days, great meals, and messes of all kinds: emotional, marital, and—thanks to the cottage’s ancient plumbing—septic too.

This year’s vacation, with Rocky sandwiched between her half-grown kids and fully aging parents, promises to be just as delightful as summers past—except, perhaps, for Rocky’s hormonal bouts of rage and melancholy. (Hello, menopause!) Her body is changing—her life is, too. And then a chain of events sends Rocky into the past, reliving both the tenderness and sorrow of a handful of long-ago summers.

💭 T H O U G H T S

I had the opportunity of travelling to East Sandwich, MA in April 2024 for a grief retreat with some amazing ladies, so adding Sandwich to my TBR was an obvious choice. Marketed as the ultimate summer read, I knew it would be an ode to Cape Cod and the slow pace of life associated with escaping city life and making memories.

Spanning one week, we follow three generations on their annual family vacation, while also getting flashbacks to vacations from years gone by. Exploring themes of motherhood, parenting, shifting family dynamics, ageing, making memories, and the love language of food, this novel wholly embraces Cape life.

Each member of the family has their own personal flaws, yet it is these flaws that makes this such a relatable story. I appreciated being inside Rocky's mind and getting a front row seat to her train of thought, which was at times hilarious. There are definitely summer vacation vibes here, but it also has a layer of depth and serious topics.

Sandwich was the perfect short read for my summer travel. My travel to the area where it is set enhanced my reading experience and ultimately brought the setting to life even more than Newman's writing does. Marketed as a summer read, this one has a lot more emotional depth than I was anticipating, so if you're looking for something light and fluffy, this isn't it. I'll definitely be exploring more of this author's work in the future.

📚 R E A D • I F • Y O U • L I K E
• Cape life
• family vacations
• the love language of food

⚠️ CW: mental illness, post-partum depression, pregnancy, miscarriage, blood, abortion, infertility, sexual content, death, death of parent, grief, body shaming, cursing, alcohol, vomit

🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S

"Maybe grief is love imploding. Or maybe it's love expanding. I don't know. I just know you can't create loss to preempt loss because it doesn't work that way. So you might as well love as much as you can. And as recklessly. Like it's your last resort, because it is."

"There are wounds that never really heal, no matter how much time they take."

"Life is a seesaw, and I am standing dead center, still and balanced: living kids on one side, living parents on the other. Nicky here with me at the fulcrum." 

"Life is a seesaw and I am standing dead center, still and balanced. Living kids on one side, living parents on the other, Nicky here with me at the fulcrum. <i>Don't move a muscle</i>, I think. But I will of course. You have to."

Holy nostalgia, Batman! 

This book is equal parts heart-wrenching and hilarious, and wholly bittersweet.

The main POV character is 54 year old Rocky, who tells us of this year's annual week-long vacation to Cape Cod with her family, in which she is sandwiched between young adult children and elderly parents. I could relate so much, if not in particulars then in vibes, to the fond recollecting of these trips of the past, when the children were younger and the parents in better health. My own children, my spouse and myself are about a decade behind in age than the family in this book, but we just recently had a similar weeklong beach vacation that has become a tradition, where my parents joined us for part of the time.

This part of the story, the joyful reminiscences of family quality time as well as enjoying one another's company as the people we have evolved to become in the present, made me want to hug this book (alas, I took it in via audio format). There was also a very funny streak, often provided by either Rocky's adult children or else her own internal monologue. 

Less heartwarming but still appreciated was all the commentary about the bodies of middle-aged women. I myself have not yet had the distinct displeasure of perimenopause, but I sure know it's coming for me before too much longer, and it seemed to be addressed really well here. Rocky rails against the betrayals of her own body throughout her adult lifespan, and how it never feels like it belongs just to her. Her family often feels the brunt of her hormone-fueled rage, but she is self-aware enough to recognize that some of the problem is hers, not all theirs.

Then there were more difficult aspects of the story: pregnancy loss (termination and miscarriage), mental health struggles (anxiety, depression, paranoia), personality disorders (narcissism). Discussions of classism and privilege. And the troubling knowledge that one's parents are drawing closer to the inevitable end, along with the constant worry for the wellbeing of one's children. 

There is plenty of talk about sex in this book; there is no violence (but see the above content warnings regarding pregnancy). The audio narrator was amazing, except only that I absolutely despised the voice she chose to use for Rocky's daughter Willa - a twenty year old lesbian described as butch, but whose voice sounded like an especially whiny prepubescent child. I greatly enjoyed the character of Willa - her voice, not so much.

This book made me laugh out loud, it made me tear up, and it made me wish I was physically capable of hugging soundwaves, so in all I think that's worth five stars. Perhaps I'll also make a note to revisit this one when menopause starts knocking at my door...

So painfully heartwrenching but also so funny, relatable and sunny. Sandwich has a perfect balance of lightheartedness and heaviness and depth. Exactly the kind of summer read I was longing for.

“And this may be the only reason we were put on this earth. To say to each other, I know how you feel. To say, Same. To say, I understand how hard it is to be a parent, a kid. To say, Your shell stank and you’re sad. I’ve been there.”

Sandwich is a character-driven novel from the perspective of Rachel/Rocky, a mother of two adult children. It spans over the course of one week and the families’ vacation in Cape Cod, while also having a few flashbacks. It’s a story of motherhood, love, grief, and family.

I struggled for about the first half of this book. While I enjoyed the writing, I was having a hard time relating to the FMC. As a 27 year old childless woman, I definitely can understand the way hormones run our life at times, but could not connect to the hormone imbalances she faced both postpartum and pre-menopause. That said, I really enjoyed the second half. I connected more to the mother daughter relationships and overall message that occurred here. There are lots of funny and relatable moments weaved throughout. For example, I love the way Willa talks to Chicken, with his own Chicken voice. I do this with my pets as well. The story leaves you feeling like you’ve just been given a warm, sandy hug.

This may not be for everyone but if it all sounds like something you’d like I do suggest giving it a try! It’s a short, quick read.

“And keep loving each other massively. Life’s too short for anything else.”

One of my favorites ever ever. The words, the dialogue, the people — all of it is so heart-stopping, so beautiful, so human and poetic and precious, even as it makes you laugh wildly as you read. The details of the setting, the characters’ histories, the nuances of how they interact — truly, I’ve never read another book with more wondrous and personal shading, layers, and magic. I loved this. I will read it again, and I will go back and read Catherine Newman’s first book, her essays, her non-fiction, and then every word she writes forever.

I did not like this book at all. And I’ve read the author previously and liked her work! 

I thought I was going to get a multigenerational look from the mom’s point of view in a breezy lighthearted “beach read” that wasn’t a romance. This excited me. 

This was nothing of the sort. 

The main character, the mom, who goes by Rocky, is a narcissist. She’s a shitty wife and does not consider her husbands feelings or perspective over and over again. It’s all about her. Unfortunately; he allows this and ultimately excuses it. And she has a weird relationship with her daughter. Who goes skinny dipping with their adult kids? I found this weird. Maybe that’s just me. 

This book is mostly about pregnancy loss with a side of parenting your adult kids and your aging parents simultaneously (hence the sandwich). It’s very heavy at times. I don’t think it would resonate with many people with shared experiences of loss, but I can only speak for myself. I think it would have the potential to be triggering. Additionally, it was a big turn off to me when the main character played with clots expelled from her body. I found this disgusting and a detail that could have been omitted. It did not make this “more realistic” or enhance the reality of the situation. 

The daughter was mildly annoying, but believable. Jamie and Maya were pleasant side characters, and even the mom and dad were fine. 

But the only character I actually liked was the cat, Chicken. For this reason I did not give it a one star. 

Very glad to be done with this one. It was not for me.