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grumpyreading's review against another edition
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
📚 Review: Holy fuck. This book was absolutely stunning. By page 37, I had cried and laughed out loud multiple times, and had written down 7 quotes and had taken multiple photos of full pages of beautiful writing. I literally cried and laughed out loud through this entire book, and was an absolute mess at the end. In the middle of the night after finishing it, I woke up and thought about it and cried. This book explores themes of grief and loss and the anticipation of these, and what it means to love and the hurt that comes with it. It also talks about what it means to be a parent, and to love your children as they grow. Though I’m not a parent, I absolutely sobbed at this, and about thinking about my mom (how dare I move out and grow up, honestly), and how much love can hurt. The way she used sandwiches to talk about the ways in which Rocky knows her family members so deeply - how different they are, how similar, what their preferences say about who they are - was so beautiful. Something so mundane that drew on the theme of the emotional work many mothers do in tending to their families was so central to this book. The writing was STUNNING, and I loved this book. Catherine Newman writes “It’s just plain life, beautiful in its familiar subtlety, its decency and dailiness.”, and I feel like that’s what this book was. That, and so much more.
There are so many beautiful quotes I wrote down while reading - I’m including them below.
đź’« Rating: 6/5. This very quickly became one of my favourite books of all time.
QUOTES:
“It’s so crushingly beautiful, being human,” the mother sighs, and the daughter rolls her eyes and says, “But also so terrible and ridiculous.”
“What does loss look like, in your body? Where is it? It feels like an air bubble stuck in your psyche. It feels like peering down into a deep hole. The vertigo of that. The potential for obliteration. It’s in your stomach. Your spleen. Or it’s just your heart losing its mind.”
“It’s too beautiful to bear — and too much to be worthy of.”
“What, exactly, are we doing here? Why do we love everyone so recklessly and then break our own hearts? And they don’t even break. They just swell, impossibly, with more love.”
“It’s almost painful, the way little children just trustingly hold out their hearts for you to look at - the way they haven’t learned yet how to conceal what matters to them, even if it’s just chewing gum or a plush dolphin or plastic binoculars.”
“Grief bright in the periphery, like a light flashing just out of view.” - literally cried immediately when I read this line
“There is so much more I want to ask him. About the texture of grief in the household of his childhood.”
“But grief was like a silver locket with two faces in it. I didn’t know what the faces looked like, but it was heavy around my neck, and I never took it off.”
“I would pick this life too, I know. I’d even pick the way that pain has burnished me to brightness. The pain itself, though? I imagine I’d give it up if I could.”
“I’ve heard grief described as love with nowhere to go. To be honest, though, I sometimes feel like love is that already.”
“Maybe grief is love imploding. Or maybe it’s love expanding. I don’t know. I just know you can’t create loss to preempt loss because it doesn’t work that way. So you might as well love as much as you can. And as recklessly. Like it’s your last resort, because it is.”
“And we’ll be as young and as whole as we’re ever going to be.”
“A transition is so much gentler than an ending.”
“… and what she told me was that I didn’t need to draw so many conclusions, to make so many decisions. That I could just live with all the different parts of life as they were. That I could be happy even though nothing would ever be perfect.”
“It’s just plain life, beautiful in its familiar subtlety, its decency and dailiness.”
“Imagine trying to make that color yellow just from the soil and sunlight,” Willa said. She was leaning against my father, who was smiling and frowning and dabbing at his face with a handkerchief. “Like, if someone was like, here’s a bowl of dirt. Make two perfect shades of the brightest yellow you ever saw! You totally couldn’t do it.” We agreed that this was true. “So what is that? I mean, I know it’s nature. Photosynthesis. Adaptation. But is it magic too?” We thought that maybe it was.
“Imagine trying to make that color yellow just from the soil and sunlight,” Willa said. She was leaning against my father, who was smiling and frowning and dabbing at his face with a handkerchief. “Like, if someone was like, here’s a bowl of dirt. Make two perfect shades of the brightest yellow you ever saw! You totally couldn’t do it.” We agreed that this was true. “So what is that? I mean, I know it’s nature. Photosynthesis. Adaptation. But is it magic too?” We thought that maybe it was.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Infertility, Miscarriage, Grief, Abortion, Death of parent, and Pregnancy
Minor: Body horror, Cancer, Drug use, Mental illness, Sexual content, Blood, Medical content, and Alcohol
melissuh1015's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Moderate: Miscarriage, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Minor: Vomit, Medical content, and Death of parent
lovelymisanthrope's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I heard about this book from someone I follow online and thought it sounded interesting.
"Sandwich" follows a woman, Rocky, in her fifties who is enjoying her annual vacation with her family. Every year, Rocky and her family enjoy a trip to Cape Cod where they can relax, enjoy the sun and sand, and build memories that will last a lifetime. This year, the trip is making Rocky reflect on her life and how she ended up with her two beautiful, adult children.
I really enjoy reading novels written from the perspective of an older character because I think it is important to have that voice heard. Rocky is going through menopause, and this novel unapologetically explores the unglamorous aspects of this and how Rocky is struggling with this new "normal".
An important and timely theme that this novel explores is abortion. When Rocky was younger, after she had her children, she got pregnant unexpectedly. Deep in the trenches of motherhood, she could not imagine adding another child to the mix, and unbeknownst to her husband, she got an abortion. Afterwards, she felt immediate regret, and desperately wanted to be pregnant again. Unfortunately, when she did get pregnant, she suffered a miscarriage. She has carried around the guilt of her decision for decades because she felt like because she chose abortion, she could not show regret for her decision. Abortion is not an easy decision, and most women do not take it lightly. Just because you made a decision, does not mean you cannot regret it. Rocky made the best decision she could at the time, and she has lived with that choice. It hurt her and it shaped her. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart, and no one should be forced into it if they have any doubts.
I really enjoyed how this novel was written. As Rocky is living her life in the present, there are things that her children are going through that are making her reflect on her own life and past. The narrative jumps between past and present, but it does so seamlessly. The story feels coherent, and the themes are strengthened by this type of storytelling. They may be separated by decades, but the characters are drawn together by such similar challenges and choices.
I highly recommend this novel, and I look forward to reading more from Catherine Newman in the future.
"Sandwich" follows a woman, Rocky, in her fifties who is enjoying her annual vacation with her family. Every year, Rocky and her family enjoy a trip to Cape Cod where they can relax, enjoy the sun and sand, and build memories that will last a lifetime. This year, the trip is making Rocky reflect on her life and how she ended up with her two beautiful, adult children.
I really enjoy reading novels written from the perspective of an older character because I think it is important to have that voice heard. Rocky is going through menopause, and this novel unapologetically explores the unglamorous aspects of this and how Rocky is struggling with this new "normal".
I really enjoyed how this novel was written. As Rocky is living her life in the present, there are things that her children are going through that are making her reflect on her own life and past. The narrative jumps between past and present, but it does so seamlessly. The story feels coherent, and the themes are strengthened by this type of storytelling. They may be separated by decades, but the characters are drawn together by such similar challenges and choices.
I highly recommend this novel, and I look forward to reading more from Catherine Newman in the future.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Miscarriage, Terminal illness, Abortion, Death of parent, and Pregnancy
Minor: Medical content and Medical trauma
atamano's review against another edition
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Miscarriage and Abortion
Moderate: Medical content
Minor: Body shaming, Terminal illness, Vomit, Death of parent, and Pandemic/Epidemic
alice_horoshev's review against another edition
Outrageous.
That fact that she aggressively accused her father about grandparents death in concentration camp. How was it possible to think it was peaceful death in some place that has the same name as concentration camp?! Beyond me. Her rants about depression during and after pregnancy- they are not remotely funnt. Considering the fact she totally accepted and praised the girlfriend of her son on her carefree sex life and attitude towards consequences of her sex life - she should never had kids at all. Awful story.
That fact that she aggressively accused her father about grandparents death in concentration camp. How was it possible to think it was peaceful death in some place that has the same name as concentration camp?! Beyond me. Her rants about depression during and after pregnancy- they are not remotely funnt. Considering the fact she totally accepted and praised the girlfriend of her son on her carefree sex life and attitude towards consequences of her sex life - she should never had kids at all. Awful story.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body horror, Chronic illness, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Antisemitism, Medical content, Medical trauma, Abortion, and Gaslighting
adreaminaqua's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
This was good! It reads like a long internal monologue and the plot never resolves but that’s kinda the point? I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s like a memoir, I guess but on fictional characters. The cape cod trip was what initially drew me in because I can deff relate to those parallels. The content is a bit heavy at times so please check the content warnings if you’re looking to avoid certain topics like pregnancy, pregnancy loss, etc. There were a few moments that made me laugh out loud and reminded me of the marvelous Mrs maisel traveling with her parents to camp in New York. A good quick read!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Miscarriage, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Vomit, Medical content, and Grief
Minor: Mental illness
Postpartum depressionspindere11a's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? Yes
5.0
*perfect* đź’•
I’ve never read a book before that so perfectly illustrates the push-and-pull turmoil of motherhood and being a woman
I’ve never read a book before that so perfectly illustrates the push-and-pull turmoil of motherhood and being a woman
Content Warnings
Moderate: Miscarriage, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Minor: Death of parent
gwenswoons's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
One of my favorites ever ever. The words, the dialogue, the people — all of it is so heart-stopping, so beautiful, so human and poetic and precious, even as it makes you laugh wildly as you read. The details of the setting, the characters’ histories, the nuances of how they interact — truly, I’ve never read another book with more wondrous and personal shading, layers, and magic. I loved this. I will read it again, and I will go back and read Catherine Newman’s first book, her essays, her non-fiction, and then every word she writes forever.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Death, Infertility, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Sexual content, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Abortion, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Alcohol
jeannine_'s review against another edition
2.0
I did not like this book at all. And I’ve read the author previously and liked her work!
I thought I was going to get a multigenerational look from the mom’s point of view in a breezy lighthearted “beach read” that wasn’t a romance. This excited me.
This was nothing of the sort.
The main character, the mom, who goes by Rocky, is a narcissist. She’s a shitty wife and does not consider her husbands feelings or perspective over and over again. It’s all about her. Unfortunately; he allows this and ultimately excuses it. And she has a weird relationship with her daughter. Who goes skinny dipping with their adult kids? I found this weird. Maybe that’s just me.
This book is mostly about pregnancy loss with a side of parenting your adult kids and your aging parents simultaneously (hence the sandwich). It’s very heavy at times. I don’t think it would resonate with many people with shared experiences of loss, but I can only speak for myself. I think it would have the potential to be triggering. Additionally, it was a big turn off to me when the main character played with clots expelled from her body. I found this disgusting and a detail that could have been omitted. It did not make this “more realistic” or enhance the reality of the situation.
The daughter was mildly annoying, but believable. Jamie and Maya were pleasant side characters, and even the mom and dad were fine.
But the only character I actually liked was the cat, Chicken. For this reason I did not give it a one star.
Very glad to be done with this one. It was not for me.
I thought I was going to get a multigenerational look from the mom’s point of view in a breezy lighthearted “beach read” that wasn’t a romance. This excited me.
This was nothing of the sort.
The main character, the mom, who goes by Rocky, is a narcissist. She’s a shitty wife and does not consider her husbands feelings or perspective over and over again. It’s all about her. Unfortunately; he allows this and ultimately excuses it. And she has a weird relationship with her daughter. Who goes skinny dipping with their adult kids? I found this weird. Maybe that’s just me.
This book is mostly about pregnancy loss with a side of parenting your adult kids and your aging parents simultaneously (hence the sandwich). It’s very heavy at times. I don’t think it would resonate with many people with shared experiences of loss, but I can only speak for myself. I think it would have the potential to be triggering. Additionally, it was a big turn off to me when the main character played with clots expelled from her body. I found this disgusting and a detail that could have been omitted. It did not make this “more realistic” or enhance the reality of the situation.
The daughter was mildly annoying, but believable. Jamie and Maya were pleasant side characters, and even the mom and dad were fine.
But the only character I actually liked was the cat, Chicken. For this reason I did not give it a one star.
Very glad to be done with this one. It was not for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Infertility, Miscarriage, Blood, Grief, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Minor: Medical content
aliciavalenski's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Antisemitism, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Abortion, Pregnancy, and Alcohol