"Life is a seesaw and I am standing dead center, still and balanced. Living kids on one side, living parents on the other, Nicky here with me at the fulcrum. <i>Don't move a muscle</i>, I think. But I will of course. You have to."

Holy nostalgia, Batman! 

This book is equal parts heart-wrenching and hilarious, and wholly bittersweet.

The main POV character is 54 year old Rocky, who tells us of this year's annual week-long vacation to Cape Cod with her family, in which she is sandwiched between young adult children and elderly parents. I could relate so much, if not in particulars then in vibes, to the fond recollecting of these trips of the past, when the children were younger and the parents in better health. My own children, my spouse and myself are about a decade behind in age than the family in this book, but we just recently had a similar weeklong beach vacation that has become a tradition, where my parents joined us for part of the time.

This part of the story, the joyful reminiscences of family quality time as well as enjoying one another's company as the people we have evolved to become in the present, made me want to hug this book (alas, I took it in via audio format). There was also a very funny streak, often provided by either Rocky's adult children or else her own internal monologue. 

Less heartwarming but still appreciated was all the commentary about the bodies of middle-aged women. I myself have not yet had the distinct displeasure of perimenopause, but I sure know it's coming for me before too much longer, and it seemed to be addressed really well here. Rocky rails against the betrayals of her own body throughout her adult lifespan, and how it never feels like it belongs just to her. Her family often feels the brunt of her hormone-fueled rage, but she is self-aware enough to recognize that some of the problem is hers, not all theirs.

Then there were more difficult aspects of the story: pregnancy loss (termination and miscarriage), mental health struggles (anxiety, depression, paranoia), personality disorders (narcissism). Discussions of classism and privilege. And the troubling knowledge that one's parents are drawing closer to the inevitable end, along with the constant worry for the wellbeing of one's children. 

There is plenty of talk about sex in this book; there is no violence (but see the above content warnings regarding pregnancy). The audio narrator was amazing, except only that I absolutely despised the voice she chose to use for Rocky's daughter Willa - a twenty year old lesbian described as butch, but whose voice sounded like an especially whiny prepubescent child. I greatly enjoyed the character of Willa - her voice, not so much.

This book made me laugh out loud, it made me tear up, and it made me wish I was physically capable of hugging soundwaves, so in all I think that's worth five stars. Perhaps I'll also make a note to revisit this one when menopause starts knocking at my door...

So painfully heartwrenching but also so funny, relatable and sunny. Sandwich has a perfect balance of lightheartedness and heaviness and depth. Exactly the kind of summer read I was longing for.

Aly’s summer book club pick. 

SO unexpected. I didn’t at all this this is what this book would be, and I’m glad. This is the book I wanted and needed to read in the summer of 2022 when I was going through a miscarriage. I wish I had it then. I loved Catherine Newman’s frank, funny delivery of Rocky’s emotions. I really didn’t want this book to end I loved it so much. 

One of my favorites ever ever. The words, the dialogue, the people — all of it is so heart-stopping, so beautiful, so human and poetic and precious, even as it makes you laugh wildly as you read. The details of the setting, the characters’ histories, the nuances of how they interact — truly, I’ve never read another book with more wondrous and personal shading, layers, and magic. I loved this. I will read it again, and I will go back and read Catherine Newman’s first book, her essays, her non-fiction, and then every word she writes forever.

I did not like this book at all. And I’ve read the author previously and liked her work! 

I thought I was going to get a multigenerational look from the mom’s point of view in a breezy lighthearted “beach read” that wasn’t a romance. This excited me. 

This was nothing of the sort. 

The main character, the mom, who goes by Rocky, is a narcissist. She’s a shitty wife and does not consider her husbands feelings or perspective over and over again. It’s all about her. Unfortunately; he allows this and ultimately excuses it. And she has a weird relationship with her daughter. Who goes skinny dipping with their adult kids? I found this weird. Maybe that’s just me. 

This book is mostly about pregnancy loss with a side of parenting your adult kids and your aging parents simultaneously (hence the sandwich). It’s very heavy at times. I don’t think it would resonate with many people with shared experiences of loss, but I can only speak for myself. I think it would have the potential to be triggering. Additionally, it was a big turn off to me when the main character played with clots expelled from her body. I found this disgusting and a detail that could have been omitted. It did not make this “more realistic” or enhance the reality of the situation. 

The daughter was mildly annoying, but believable. Jamie and Maya were pleasant side characters, and even the mom and dad were fine. 

But the only character I actually liked was the cat, Chicken. For this reason I did not give it a one star. 

Very glad to be done with this one. It was not for me.