Spoiler warning

I’ll start with the good, then the bad, then the almost great. This is a very voicy novel of mom, Rocky, at midlife, trying to sort out her life, her responsibilities, her family members’ metamorphoses into new life stages, and most of all, her immense, roller-coaster feelings about it all, while also being on vacation. Being at a similar spot in my own life, I found some of her experiences very relatable- and at times hilarious. Her description of menopause is Pulitzer-worthy on its own. The narrator feels everything so thoroughly which I really love. I want a novel that plunges the depths of the life experience which this one does-almost. The narrator’s observations about her family are very much in the vein of Jen Hatmaker, only more irreverent. Full of love, full of honesty, full of humor, achingly full of life. She goes so deep, but then nearly misses the mark, or does she? 
Which brings me to what I didn’t love. For one thing, the family was far too open with one another, in a cringe-worthy way. Dad getting freaky with mom while college daughter is literally sleeping right next to them is one mild example. You can be open and honest without being gross. 
Speaking of gross, the mom is just kind of awful. She loves everyone so much, as she constantly gushes, but also makes everything about her. Seriously, everything. Her poor husband is totally neglected and her children feel like they have to take care of their mom’s feelings all the time. But, to be fair, mom is going through some really tough stuff, which all comes to a head during this their annual family vacation. And here is the part that I equally love and hate, which I think maybe you are supposed to. 
It is genius. 
Rocky finds that she finally has no other choice than to come unflinchingly clean about her abortion experience. She gets to the heart of what really happened, of what she really did. And it’s utterly heartbreaking. Her young adult daughter, who lives her whole life as though she is an animated hand-held poster at a political rally, is totally confused about why her mom would have any feelings at all about it. Because abortions are totally cool, I think she says somewhere. The rubber really meets the road of the novel here…and then kind of starts to backtrack. Because we’re not supposed to say it out loud, right? Because then we don’t love women, or choice, or freedom or something? You can almost hear Rocky worrying about what her political party would think, (you can almost hear the author herself worrying about it too), but then she tells her daughter that this is real life, not a political ideology. Because here, at midlife, Rocky is finally acknowledging and speaking about what happened to her babies- she always calls them her babies. They had due dates, would-be birthdays. And both babies died, not just the one she wanted. And yet, it’s too horrifying to acknowledge to the full, so it is spoken about euphemistically, or much worse, not at all. Rocky hates this! Just say died and dead, she says. It’s so interesting, but not surprising when you think about it, that Rocky is so angry that she didn’t know that her grandparents died in the Holocaust- why didn’t you tell me?!- but also doesn’t want to know about it. Same with her parents aging. So much going on in this novel that mirrors the human experience. We lie to ourselves and each other- another huge theme in the novel- because otherwise life would be even more terrible than it already is. And that in itself is a heart-wrenchingly beautiful thing. But, also, lying might be the death of us. “Never keep secrets from each other,” Willa advises. All to say that this is why this novel is genius. Many readers will take it at face value because that’s all they can handle- and the author knows it. She can barely handle it herself. But she also loves you too much to keep on lying to you. The truth is wretched, and you should know it for what it is. 

Sandwich has a LOT. In a way super lovely and an ode to mothers and women and love. Also hard and ugly and uncomfortable and utterly sad. I think most women will both feel seen and relieved, but also stressed and depressed. It's a really strange book to try and describe. Definitely one I will be thinking about for a while... It could be super triggering; there is a lot about all aspects of the female reproductive system.

This book was incredible. I cried multiple times throughout reading it and I think it will stay with me for years to come. It made me want to hug my mum and mourn the growth of my future children all in one story.